SAUSAGE SUPREME MASSACRE❥ℝ𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕪 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕤𝕙 𝕩 𝕁𝕠𝕟 𝔸𝕣𝕓𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕝𝕖<𝟛-'♡'-

-'♡'-Chapter Three-'♡'- ❥FUCK! Jon has a Santa fetish!❥

After s few more guests arrived, Jon started grilling up the sausages and ROUNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD burgers, but it wasn't easy. He tried to get his mind off Randy by grilling and talking to everyone there, but unfortunately the grilling didn't help, because the sausages reminded him of Randy, and the buns reminded me of his big bouncing Jell-O asscheeks. Jon wanted to eat his Jell-O very very badly. He thought it would be blue raspberry or lime flavor and it would be really juicy. He thought about absolutely devouring his delicious Jell-O, to the point where others were noticing he was becoming slow to respond and seemed to be spacing out.
This actually made Jon really sad. Because he really wanted Randy, he was so hot and polite, but he knew he'd never see him again.
But suddenly, something Jon never would of expected happened. Someone walked through his door. Jon couldn't believe his huge, brown eyes, which were brown and not any other eye color. They were not blue eyes, and he had eyelashes. He had eyebrows too, and he also had pupils and irises. He had two eyes, not four, five, or even ten. And they were both
above his nose and bellow his forehead. They were like two beautiful shining orbs of diarrhea. It was Randy! And he'd brought some kid with him. Jon assumed it was his son.
"Oh, hey Jon! What a coincidence!" He said waving at him"
"Oh, uh, hello Mr. Marsh-! What brings you here??" Jon said, nervously blushing.
"My annoying bitch ass wife was invited, but she said I should go instead of her so I could spend some time with my son here!" Randy said, cheerfully.
"Oh, that's perfect!" Said Jon. He bent down to talk to the kid. "And what's your name, young man?"
"This is Stan!" Randy said, keeping a cheerful tone. Jon liked Randy's cheerfulness.
Just then, Garfield started eating the ROUNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD burgers.
"GARFIELD, NO!" Jon yelled, running to stop him. When suddenly, he tripped on a chair leg!
"YIKES!" Jon exclaimed, as he fell to the ground. But suddenly, Randy caught him just in time!
Jon looked up at him and blushed. The moment felt very romantic and Jon was absolutely flustered. He stared into Randy's eyes. They were shiny and beautiful, more than anything he'd ever seen. He also only had two eyes, and not 15, 10, or 70, just like Jon. Jon loved that they had this similarity. It was so beautiful and lovely and made Jon very wonderfully joyous. He was just a bit holly and jolly, just like his hero, Santa Claus. Jon loved Santa Claus. He loved how he brought joy to everyone around the world. He loved his voice. He loved his sleigh. He loved how he had reindeer. Then suddenly, Jon realized Santa was also his first celebrity crush. Fuck!

Jon had spaced out thinking about Santa's big sexy belly, and stopped responding to Randy and instead looked down, unknowingly starting to stare at his balls.
"Uh.... Jon, what are you looking at?" Randy said, shyly.
"AH-! S-S-Sorry... Jon said, looking back up at him. I was just thinking about Santa... And... 'Jell-O'." He responded, blushing.
Randy and Jon awkwardly left the embrace and stepped away from eachother, still looking into each other's eyes and blushing.
"Holy shit dad, you look totally gay!" Stan said.
"No son, I just shat my pants im not gay" Randy replied.
The two men continued to talk all night, laughing and talking and all that shit whatever idk man it's 3:25am and I don't care about this fanfic whatsoever like Jesus fucking Christ what's the point of this, whatever let's go back.
They were practically inseparable, nobody could get them to stop talking. Jon even burnt the ROUNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD burgers.
Everything was nice and casual, until late that night, once everyone but Stan and Randy had left.
"Man, it's late now... And I've had quite a bit of alcohol, Jon... I don't know if I should be driving." Randy said.
"Oh, really? Well don't worry, you guys can spend the night, I'm sure Garfield and Odie won't mind." Jon replied
"Oh shit really?? Thank you!" Randy said. "Let me just call my wife..." He said, taking out his phone and leaving for a minute.
About a minute later, he came back, looking embarrassed.
"My wife said she's fed up with me and wants a divorce, and she's coming to pick up Stan but I can stay for as long as I want."
"Oh-Oh man, really-??" Jon said, secretly delighted by this, but knew it was a terrible time to say so. "That's terrible!" He said, lying through his teeth.
"Yeah yeah, it's fine though." Randy replied.
"Stan, go wait in the living room, your mom should be here any minute now."
After Stan left, Jon and Randy sat together in the kitchen. They were both dizzy and tired from the party.
"So where do you wanna sleep?" Jon asked. "The couch is always free, or you could just sit on the floor if you'd like."
"No can do. I always get awful back problems. You sure you don't have a bed or anything?"
"Oh, w-well... Uh... I used to have a guest bedroom, but the bed is... Uh... Very horribly broken... So no one can sleep in there! So there's only my bed... I don't know if you'd wanna sleep there though..."
Randy took another sip of his beer.
"I don't think I'd mind that all too much." He said, in a mildly suggestive tone.
Jon instantly went bright red at this comment. "R-Really..?" He said. "Well, if you say so...!"
"Alright, it's settled then!" Randy said, relivingly. The two of them started drinking more. They were laughing and quite enjoying themselves, when suddenly Jon accidently let something slip...
"Mannn, you're SERIOUSLY sexy... Even more than SANTA CLAUSSS!!!" Jon said, too drunk to immediately understand what he was saying. But after a few seconds he realized and said "oh, whoops, sorry about that man... Just kinda let that slip!"
"Ohh... You think I'm sexy??" Randy said, intrigued. "More than Santa Claus??"
"Mhmmmmmmmmm" Jon answered.
"Oh Jesus... But Santa Claus.... Is the sexiest man to ever live! I've gotta admit though.... You're not so bad yourself~" Randy said, leaning into Jon.
Jon started blushing. "You mean it?" He said.
"Yeahhh... Y'know I had a feeling about you ever since you looked directly at me while shoving an entire sausage down your throat earlier, but I had no idea I'd be correct!" Randy said, pulling him in. When suddenly, they started staring at each other, and eventually fell into eachother, and started passionately kissing, which turned into a full make out session right before their eyes.
Once they were done, Jon looked up at Randy and said...
"Do you wanna take this upstairs, baby~?" He asked, seductively.
"We've only met today and you somehow already know me so well... Hehe" Randy said, standing up.