Blackhill One-Shots

Touch and True Crime

It was Tony who noticed it for the first time at the Avengers game night, how Natasha would let Maria lean on her shoulder or rest a hand on her arm. The last time Tony had even attempted to touch Natasha without warning, he had been sent to the infirmary with a broken wrist. Either Natasha was incredibly drunk - unlikely, but nobody could ever actually tell when she was drunk or sober - or those two were just really good friends. He took a mental note of it.

But then it happened again. Tony watched as Maria came up from behind Natasha and placed a hand on her shoulder in a meeting and Natasha just turned around to give Maria a slight smile. This was Natasha "I know seven different ways to kill you with my pinky finger" Romanoff who had apparently been replaced by some sort of alien imposter because she didn't do physical contact, not ever. The Avengers had a group chat where they each counted the number of times Natasha had thrown them into something - or broken their bones - when they had tried to touch her without warning for Christ's sake. They hadn't used that group chat in a while though, they'd realized it was probably better just to warn her before they made a movement in her direction. They all knew it was a habit she'd picked up a long time ago but they were all too scared to ask her what had happened that made her react that way to touch. Tony called a group meeting the same day. He needed to get to the bottom of this

When they'd all gathered, it was Tony who spoke first. "Okay, so as the resident tech genius and all-around greatest person ever... Steve don't leave yet I'm taking this somewhere-"

Steve let go of the door handle and stepped back into the room.

"I've had a series of observations regarding our dearest Natasha and Maria. See the evidence as shown."

Clint snorted and nestled back into his seat while Bruce just sighed. "I have lab work to get done Tony I really don't have time for this-"

"Ah, hold your horses, look at this."

Tony displayed a range of images on the screens surrounding them, most of which were of Maria initiating some form of physical contact with Natasha.

"I mean, look at this. Natasha doesn't ever let people get near her but Maria is the one exception to this rule and I am going to find out why."

"Tony... They've always been like that together."

"What do you mean, always? I would have noticed it."

"Stark! They are clearly lesbians. I have known many warrior women, but none have a bond quite like them."

The whole team fell silent at that until Clint talked. "I mean, Thor isn't wrong. When I was in the vents, I heard Maria laugh at something Natasha said. Maria never laughs, she's called Hardass Hill by the juniors at S.H.I.E.L.D. for a reason."

"Sorry, backtrack. You were in the vents, Barton?"

"Yeah, they're smooth and shiny."

Steve just sighed. "Leave them alone Tony. Nobody here wants to deal with Natasha getting pissed at you because you tried to get involved in her personal life. I mean really, she locked you out of the tower for a week the last time you tried to."

"She can't be mad at me forever though!"

"Tony..."

Eventually, Tony managed to bug the others into helping him figure out what was going on They were all curious about it as well, even though they wouldn't admit it. So, they watched Maria and Natasha more closely and all came to the agreement that Thor was right. What they realize was that not only did Natasha allow for Hill to touch her, she initiated contact with Hill as well. They caught the pair hugging at one point and Tony nearly had a breakdown because that was the first time they had ever seen Natasha hug anybody.

It went deeper than that though. The team started to notice that whenever Natasha was around Maria, she'd absentmindedly place a hand on Maria's arm or brush her hand against hers. They also noticed how much time Maria and Natasha spent together. Natasha normally left social situations after about five minutes, but once again Maria was the exception to, well, every rule Natasha seemed to follow.

The team regrouped and at this point, even Bruce was interested. They agreed that there were two options regarding this situation. One: Maria and Natasha were in fact dating. Two: they were just good friends. They asked Wanda about it at some point. She was fairly close to Natasha, but she just raised an eyebrow and went back to her room. They all concluded that she knew something that the rest of them didn't, but they figured it was best to leave her alone. Wanda can be incredibly scary as well. It was Clint who spoke first.

"I mean... how much do we even know about Natasha? Whatever's going on between her and Maria could be completely normal."

"What do you mean, Barton?"

"I mean, I've been friends with her for ages and she's never voluntarily given up information about herself before. She once threatened to drop me off the helicarrier if I told anyone that she makes true crime videos in her spare time, mainly because she committed most of the crimes she talks about."

Everyone stared at Clint for a solid minute before he realized what he'd said and then everybody was asking questions

"What's a true crime?"

"What do you mean, she committed most of the crimes she talked about?"

"JARVIS, find this channel as soon as possible."

"Where and when the hell does she make them?"

"Spare time? Whenever we ask her to hang out with us, she says she doesn't even have spare time."

Clint dropped his head onto the desk in defeat. "She's gonna drop me off the tower isn't she?"

Everyone just nodded. It was only then that Bruce - who had barely said anything - spoke. "What if we just ask her?"

"Oh."

They all nominated Tony to be the one who asked Natasha about it. He was the one who got this whole thing started anyhow, so if Natasha pushed him out of a window for asking then, that seemed only fair. When Tony walked into the kitchen to ask Natasha, he noticed that Maria was sitting beside her. Shit. He could tell everyone was watching as well. Clint was giving him a thumbs up from the vents while Sam and Bucky were outside the door. Steve said he wasn't going to get involved but he was actually outside the door with the others. Bruce was just in his lab, Thor had forgotten about it and Wanda was already preparing Tony's eulogy. He cleared his throat slightly and moved to make himself a coffee. He also moved as close to the door as possible in case Natasha started chasing him down.

"Natasha?"

"Yep?"

"Are you dating Maria?"

Natasha just took a sip of her tea while maintaining eye contact with Tony. "Yep."

Maria snorted and got up from her chair to get a biscuit. "We've been dating for two years, Tony."

"Yep. We also have a cat, he's very sweet."

"Tasha, you named him after evil fate and misfortune."

Tony just turned around and left the room without saying anything. Clint fell out of the vent before practically sprinting out of the room and crashing into Sam, Steve, and Bucky outside the door. Natasha just took another sip of tea before addressing Maria with a slight smile. "It took them long enough to figure it out."

"Please don't throw Tony off anything."

"No promises."

- - -

Note: Hi guys! Here's a one-shot by MiracleLiho. I love domestic Avengers so much. They're so sweet and all clueless and I absolutely love that side that of them. As always, let me know if you have any suggestions for future stories. I'm open to pretty much any of them, it doesn't have to only be Blackhill cause as you've probably seen, I also post stories about other ships so I really dont mind which one you want me to do. Let me know and have a great day!