Being Jackson.

02.

Jackson.

"I played on my own, I survived." I sang or rather whisper sang closing my locker with a smile, checking my hair with my fingers to make sure it was still in a top bun, I made my way to my third class AP chemistry, but hey the universe just likes throwing hurdles in my way for example Ryder Edwards, who for the past one whole week has been showing up at my doorstep at the exact same time I leave for my run, he taunts me and challenges me but I channel it all into motivation.

Kat no longer tells people we're not related and he my ex, had tried to reach out several times, so I had wondered when these two would show up. "Zoe, Winston what do you want?" I asked passively because it was obvious they did, since first year they pretended to be my friends, had me doing their homework, had me carry their stuff, be their chauffeur, without a single thank you.

I was a duff to these two bimbos for a long time and I realized I was close to a slave with free labour than a friend when Amber the head cheerleader, asked them to dump a gallon of oil and eggs on me if they wanted to join the cheersquad, of course they did. "Nothing, we just wanted to know if you would like to sit with us at lunch, or go to Macy's party this saturday." Zoe answered and I rolled my eyes, I was done entertaining them.

So I breezed past them without an answer. "Hey come on man, it wasn't personal." Winston called out jogging to catch up with me, with him, it had been personal. "You went online and tried to post a picture of a homeless guy trying to molest me, if I hadn't found out sooner because Zoe asked you to do something else that wouldn't make you look like a horrible person, wouldn't you have gone through with it." I argued calling him out on his shit. "I'd say it was personal, and leave me alone Winston." I tell him before walking away.

"Damn that seemed pretty intense." Dustin suddenly stated appearing out of nowhere next to me. "Dustin!" I shrieked. "In the flesh." He gestures to himself. "Where did you come from?" I demanded still walking and he chuckled. "Doesn't matter, listen you look great, practically glowing, I'm glad." He comments and for once it felt really good getting that acknowledgement from him.

"I live on kale smoothies day and night, fat free goods, nuts and that diet chart is helping a lot, I've cut down on almost half my consumption rate and I went to a specialist who recommended a few medications that help with my acidity levels, so yeah I'm really earning my stripes." I chuckled as he laughed too still walking next to me earning a lot of attention. "That's really good to hear, I'm proud of you." He exclaimed, and yes I grinned.

"Thanks Dustin, I couldn't have started this journey without you." I apprecited him honestly and he chuckled waving it off. "Cool." He nodded. "This is me." I tell him gesturing with my head to the class, I wanted to talk to him more though, Dustin was easy going, way easier to talk to and always encouraged me, he was good, and yes I had to admit I was developing a crush for his boy next door vibe.

"Oh, I—yeah, my offer still stands though if you want to hit the gym or just exercise anywhere, its cool." He says sheepishly, a smirk on his cherry lips. "I will still think about it." I replied "I know, but offer stands wide open okay, now get to being nerdy." He patted my shoulder then like he appeared, disappeared down the hall leaving me with a smile. "Looks like some one likes you." A small voice came from behind me, startled again I jumped.

"What the hell, who are you?" I demanded. "Darcy Lang, and no I'm Korean before you even assume the wrong thing." She introduced herself with a handshake, I shook her hand wondering why she was even talking to me, she was a lot pretty, and her oufit screamed otherworldly, she made it work really even it was school girl modest meets anime.

"Why are you talking to me exactly." I muttered and she smiled. "That is a good question, I'm looking for recruits to help plan an everyone invited formal to rival the one coming up, and I thought you would be the perfect candidate." She explained and I found myself wanting to run. "Before you say no, I'd like to tell you that you're a minority, you're partly black, obviously gay and fat or not fat, really confusing;" She pauses with me taking full offense to her words.

"Darcy, I already know that, why are you reminding me." I sneered. "—because you're like a lot of the other minorities here at this school combined only not Asian." She answered and I nodded, it made sense.

"Listen, I wanted to plan a party where everyone is welcome and accepted, no matter what color, body size sexual orientation or even monetary background they come from because I'm also sick, tired and angry over the fact that the Kens and Barbies at this school get to treat everyone else like dirt yet they need us to feel good about themselves, so what do you say?" She explained and I couldn't resist.

"I'm in, just take my number and we'll talk." I tell her and she squeals. "I'm so happy, I was prepared to give another speech if you refused." She confessed making me laugh. "Would have definitely been more insulting than the last one but I understand what you're trying to do, and it's high time I rebeled." I answer her with a genuine smile, something I hadn't done in a while, though I knew this time even if Darcy seemed genuine I wouldn't let it cloud my judgement, I would voice out every thought.

"Good, we all need to do it some time, I'll sit with you." She tells me as we sit in the chemistry class both with big smiles on our faces, somehow with her, I felt different, maybe it was the enthusiasm or rebel in me finally getting a spotlight.

Chemistry was over and so were a few more classes, lunch had been uneventful since I never went to the cafeteria and just drank my lunch which was just a juice blend and two snack bars, I was now religiously watching what I ate.

Having seen the difference in my eating habits my mother had become less obsessed about how I ate or how much I ate, and allowed me to buy a bigger blender at home for the purpose of making juice blends at any time of the day.

It only solidified the fact of what I thought I was to her, she didn't like me as I was, I had spiralled into being what I was, which was a fat, sweaty mess that she didn't want, now that I was changing, she was changing.

It felt wrong and right at the same time knowing she acknowledged me and accepted me when I fit into her standards of what beauty was and what she wanted me to be, heck she was okay with me being gay but not about my body or how I looked, it felt good being loved by mother again I admit.

"It's come to my attention that you and the Asian charity case are planning what she calls a rebel party." Amber, the head cheerleader, who was also in the same Ap biology class as me asserted standing next to the table I was at, she luckily was alone so I simply ignored her ignored existence.

"I won't stand for it, the formal will go on as planned and I'll be damned if I let some third rate chubby bottom who can barely please himself and a korean papercut little voodoo doll ruin it, never." She spat storming away.

I knew there would be backlash if I accepted helping Darcy, I hadn't expected it would be in the last class of the same day I had just agreed to helping Darcy, so much for being rebellious yet a part of me wanted to do it now more than ever just to rub it in Amber's and all the popular kid's face, that it didn't matter if they had their formal, we could do our thing without them.

The class finished with me proactive as always but also jotting down ideas for a location since Darcy had told me that she would do it at her house which had a large backyard but I was sure it could accommodate that many people, the argument had rested with me agreeing to go see her house over the weekend and decide then.

So I made my way out of the halls of the school
intent on getting home, changing and getting on a treadmill at the gym which my mom had joined with her latest ongoing encounter, she had gotten a family discount but I knew soon enough he would leave, I felt sorry for my mom but she was a grown, smart and independent woman, she could clearly see a pattern and chose to keep at it, so there fore there was nothing I could do.

"Hello there gingerbread." His voice quickly tore me away from my thoughts and onto him, he was leaning on my car clearly looking at home draping himself over it like it was nothing, like always I ignored him and walked over to the driver's side, the moment I unlocked he jumped in. "I need a ride pumpkin, so lets go."

Being Jackson.

Saint Jay