Being Jackson.

11.

Ryder Edwards.

I was hard again, well I had been hard for the past few minutes because the image of Jack naked had just popped up in my head and it sent my cock on a rage, why did he do that, there were more ways to punish me, but that, was just plain torture.

I thought I had a thing for shorter more feminine guys, they were always my preference if you looked at my track record of three exes, now I was questioning why Jack made me lose my self control, its as if I just couldn't keep it together when he was around and his perfume had my mind going haywire.

This morning had been unexpected, brilliant and something I wanted to do again, I got jealous of his friend Wyatt and plotted to do something with him this thursday, I had no idea he was going to say yes, and now that he had I felt like I was screwed, fuck my life, why was I losing it because of one guy, ever since I met him I was hooked, and did I want to get off, that was questionable.

Now onto his mom insisting I stay, I know a normal person would've refused, the glares I got from Jack were proof enough that he wanted me to go, but I was sticking to my words, I was no chicken, I was going to stick to his ass like stink on a skunk until he laughed to my corny jokes, only in a much more relaxed way, with smiling and stuff, I truly enjoyed hanging out at his house and his incredible room.

It was my sort of heaven with just a tinge more femininity, the best part, I got to see Jack, stripped down, call me a perv, I know I was but he's the one who dropped his towel and gave me that absolutely amazing view of his body, I wanted to tap that thick ass so badly, shit I was hard again.

The thing with hanging out with Jack was that I was care free, and I liked that about myself, his friends were just like him, unique, Wyatt could call Jack pet names, hell they all did even his sister, but the guy had lost his marbles to Darcy like I had to Jack, it was so obvious, which kind of made my jealousy wither away because I knew that's just how they were, I already wanted to find the perfect petname for Jack.

The ride to school was totally different than when I car pooled with my friends and Pete, there was no coffee and they were always taking a jab at each other and if Pedro or Pete drove, they either swerved, hit a speed bumb or got pulled off the road, with Jack, it was all music, great laughs and his exceptional driving, my dad always says if you want to judge a man's character, judge his driving, and I already had my verdict with Jack.

Not to discredit Pete, he was great at some things too but I guess with my interests elsewhere, I had to admit that things had changed, we weren't the same anymore and since the whole fiasco on friday with the party, we hadn't even talked, he was ghosting everyone and I decided I needed to give him his space.

I had actually told my parents about what happened and they didn't like Pete very much anymore, having two kids who had suffered with eating disorders and another one who was gay, they had been opened up to the world with a view that was unlike most parents and there was a lot they could tolerate but what happened with Pete they couldn't, they even grounded me for having spoken about Jack's life with the others, and I found it fair.

As for what Jack had told me earlier, I knew he was right, I needed to get my house in order, I needed to figure out everything and truth was, I didn't have feelings for Pete that were as strong as before, yeah at some point I had genuinely been in love with him but experiencing everything now, I'm realizing that my genuine love for Pete might've been misplaced, or I was in love with idea of being in love with him, but whatever it was, being around Jack and feeling this way, I realized there was something there.

It was proven when I told my dad about it, that just the sight of him had my breathing laboured, my mouth dry and my heart pounding, he made me feel warm, wanted and I just relaxed when he was around, I was me without walls or boarders, Jack made me want to be a better person, a better version of myself that would be proud of his accomplishments, my dad called it epic love.