Your shoulders

Eleutheromania

John found himself dreading this and felt a strong aversion to the first step he'd have to take in Jack's general direction.

The strong apprehension to the task made him question if this whole conversation might possibly be avoidable. He wasn't scared of Jack, he just didn't know if he could trust him not to take it the wrong way. With the last signature signed in bold, he sighed, laying the pencil down on the counter. He knew it had to be done but was overwhelmed trying to find the words.

'Who knew being a teacher would trace back to this? Way out of my fucking pay grade if you ask me..' he thought vacantly.

John turned towards Eric, tossing him his car keys.

"Bring him back to mine in one piece, would'ja?" He said as he walked past him, leading Jack outside to talk.

They waited till Eric and Shawn had left the building and pulled out of the parking lot, only then could they make four-second eye contact.

John felt himself losing buckets worth; already sweating like a pig before Jack asked "Alright, what's this about?" huffing in a nervous flurry that was almost unintelligible.

John accredited the kid after seeing him let the words slip out so easily in such a perturbed disposition. For John, eye contact was arduous enough.

He sighed while shifting from foot to foot. He knew Jack was a good kid but Shawn was a handful and though Shawn would never admit it, he needed the parental supervision he'd missed out on as a child.

The way John saw it, Shawn might act like he's able to take care of himself but he's not and never has been. His parents often left him to fend for himself but that doesn't make him fit for the responsibility of living without support from an adequate adult. In fact, it makes it harder for him. John has coworkers that would vouch for him on this one but Shawn seems to be emotionally stunted a few years back. He needs a lot of guidance and Jack can only give so much with as little as a four-year age gap.

"Jack.. he told me loosely of the..." John waved his hand around trying to find the right words.

Jack's heart dropped, as he realized what this was about.

'Oh god..' went unsaid through Jack's mind an innumerable amount of times.

"Y'know the drugs" John mumbled.

In light of the unnerving silence he rushed to finish off with,

"You're not in any trouble or anything like that it's just- well, I can't let Shawn be around that type 'a thing.." he assured.

It didn't make him feel any better though. He didn't care about 'getting in trouble' he just wanted his brother back.

John looked up at Jack and instantly regretted it. He could almost feel Jack's pain through his furrowed brows and his lips parted to make way for the short breaths. The look in his eyes painted quite the picture.

He blinked back the tears to no avail.

"I won't do that again- I wouldn't have done it. It was a one-time thing? It wasn't my fault!" He swore.

John held up his hands ready to bargain with him. He felt a pang of crushing guilt at the whole situation. Not once did he see Jack as a bad person, just a kid. He didn't want him to think that John had made that impression of him and he certainly didn't want him to think that himself.

"I know. Kid, I know.." John whispered, putting hands on his shoulders.

"Then why are you taking him from me?!" His eyes were getting glassy, John could tell he was close to crying. He wanted to make it better, make it all go away, he really did. He didn't know how though. Where to start, he doesn't know Jack like he knows Shawn, he doesn't know Jack at all.