Cloud 9

[C]loud 2

Auditions. Today was the day. It was happening- now.

Again.

I paced back and forth nervously, impatiently trying to remember exactly what I did the last time this happened, or to be more exact- what exactly I was meant to do again. It had occurred to me, and now I couldn't help but vaguely wonder if this was like those Sci-Fi's, would me kicking a stone, making a wrong move- doing something drastically small change the future in any way? I shuddered, chills running down my spine. 

No one would even know. No one except me.

I caught sight of many faces I once knew and befriended as I made my way through the too familiar hall ways and floors, getting to know them all over again seemed a hassle in itself. I wasn't being inconsiderate, nor insensitive but having to hear them utter their names and background stories when I, infact already knew them already was pointless. I smiled politely and wished luck to everyone I came across anyway- knowing that half of them needed it more than they thought, their confident demeanors obviously not being enough for the judges we'd face. 

I caught sight of Niall in the mass crowd of contestants and my heart started to pound heavily again. I felt my eyes sting and I shied away, pretending to yawn as the Irish blonde floppy dyed hair wide blue eyed boy allured everyone in with his loud laugh and inviting persona. I desperately wanted to be one of those people around him, being drawn in by his friendliness- but I knew reluctantly that I couldn't. That wasn't how I met him. 

And I had to stick to it.

Last time, I shut my eyes- this time, I meet him after we're joined as a boy band. 

I did what I didn't do before, I scanned around- looking for those familiar stern but welcoming brown eyes of Liam Payne, and after a terrifying moment I gave up, not seeing him but meeting gazes with people who seemed curious about my curiosity. I tiptoed, now quietly looking for Zayn- who, when I finally looked in the right direction, was unfortunately headed right for me. I turned around far too quickly, nearly stumbling clumsily as I tried to shuffle away before his familiar voice filled my ears.

"Um, does anyone know if its a must to dance to join this or?" he wavered, his tone sounding so young, weak compared to the deep matured one I was used to. I couldn't help but turn around, as if it wasn’t even my choice- it was reflexive, wanting to answer his question. 

A girl named Cher beat me to it, and I wanted to stop her- but I wasn't supposed to know her yet. So I bit harshly on my bottom lip as her eyes raked over him.

"Nah love, but it wouldn't hurt to let a few of those moves loose right?" she teased charmingly in her thick accent as she circled the boy playfully. I smirked to myself, Zayn- dance? He seemed to notice, his brown eyes staring at me intensely as my expression stiffened. 

I averted my gaze, hurriedly walking away.

I had no idea if he thought the fact that my smirk was to tease his obvious lack of dance skills or if I was being friendly, I didn't wait to see. Instead I blindly made my way through the swarm of people, hesitantly trying to blend in all the while without actually being noticed.

Of course luck wasn't on my side.

It was as if I attracted the things I wanted so bad without even trying to, instantly my eyes locked on Louis who was fluttering amongst the people like a social butterfly. I wanted to hear his voice so bad, I wanted any of them to talk to me like they used to- like I was their friend.

I missed them so much.

It was horrible, knowing so much about the person and have them not have any idea who you were. It was like losing a best friend to amnesia, which in this case- was some what how it was. I frowned as Louis walked towards my direction, he was talking to someone over his shoulder but from his expression it was obvious he'd rather be anywhere else. Things like that reminded me that I wasn't going mad, I knew him. I knew of all them.