Short Stories

Anxiety (Metallica)

That awful feeling inside you had made itself known again and you laid in bed, letting it take over. You'd done it all day yesterday, and you had the same plan for today.

You didn't know how long you laid there since you'd woken up, but it was long enough to know that Lars was awake and buzzing with energy.

You'd locked your bedroom door last night before you'd gone to sleep but that of course gave him the opportunity to slam his fist against it for as long as he liked.

"Stop it Lars, you're giving me a headache," you groaned, partly from the headache forming at your temples and partly from that sick feeling that swallowed you completely.

"Y/N, come out of your room, we just wanted to hang out with you," he whined, you hated that it almost convinced you. Almost.

He'd left with a promise to be back to bother you again tomorrow morning and you knew he was going to stick to that promise.

•

"Kirk, Y/N didn't wanna hang out," he huffed defeatedly as he came into his room without even bothering to knock. That was a normal thing now, so Kirk wasn't as shocked as he was the first time it happened.

Kirk sighed, if he had been bothering you, which he was sure Lars had, he wouldn't want to hang out either. He knew you did a lot to keep your life in check and he knew there was no way a normal human being could do that and get a decent amount of sleep at the same time.

"Lars, she's probably just tired, you know that she works a lot and she does a lot more beside that. Maybe she just wants to catch up on some sleep," he suggested.

Lars covered himself in Kirk's bedsheets with a dramatic sigh, "yeah you're probably right."

•

You were up and out of bed before Lars even had a chance to raise his fist to your door. You promised today to sit in on another band practice and you hoped that would take your mind off your racing thoughts.

You pulled on a hoodie and headed downstairs where the guys were setting everything up, you smiled in greeting and sat on the top of the chest of clothes.

The boys started with a Black Sabbath song which made you smile a little, they knew it was your favourite.

After four more songs they started one of their originals, you couldn't tell which, because you'd already fallen asleep.

Jason saw this and missed his cue, "James come here for a sec."

James rolled his eyes but obliged, "what?"

"Do you think something is going on?"

James stared at him for a moment, blatant contempt written on his face, "yeah I think something is going on, you usually tell us if you're having an off day."

Jason rolled his eyes, for what felt like the hundredth time today, "no James, with Y/N, she's asleep."

James looked over at you in disbelief, and sure enough your head had lolled to the side, your eyes closed. You were asleep.

He wondered how you could fall asleep, when all you'd done for the past two days was sleep. He'd heard from Lars you were tired. The truth was you'd only laid in bed thinking, you hadn't had more than three hours of sleep.

"Okay, I think we're gonna cut it short today, and make up for it another day," James explained, he left Kirk and Lars to look after you while he dragged Jason upstairs to talk where you wouldn't hear.

He explained how you had seemed a bit jumpy and unfocused lately, he advised Jason to just talk to you about it. He hoped it was nothing too serious.

•

You had just flicked through the channels for twenty minutes but nothing appealed to you, so you just let the stupidly obvious drama play while you stared at the screen and pretended to pay attention.

You didn't even notice Jason was speaking to you until he shook you to get your attention, "Y/N, is there something going on with you? We all have noticed you've been acting strange and I figured I'd just ask."

You really didn't feel like telling him the whole story, and about how awful you'd been feeling, you hoped he'd understand.

"Just been a bad couple of days," you said, as you stared at the new stain on the carpet, wondering when it had happened.

"Would a hug make it any better?"

You nodded and let him wrap you in his arms for longer than usual, it made you feel a lot better though, it seemed like he understood and was taking away the pain just by holding you.

You made a promise to yourself then, a promise to try harder to keep yourself going. You had to, for them.

•

After a few days of doing your best to keep yourself happy and not too anxious the guys began to help you out a bit more and tried not to piss you off more than usual.

Jason made sure that you were eating and drinking enough and sometimes he'd make meals for you so you didn't have to overexert yourself after your 18 hour work day.

Lars had left little encouraging notes around your bedroom and then continued to do so when he noticed they made you smile a little bit more each time.

•

About two weeks after you'd made your promise to yourself, you found that you couldn't sleep.

You counted sheep, you changed your pyjamas, you drank some water, opened the window. And after two hours of laying there, your mind still wouldn't let you rest.

You sighed and decided to go ask James if he'd keep you company until you fell asleep, he usually never went to bed for another half an hour or so. You were sure he wouldn't mind.

"James?" You whispered into his bedroom, "are you still awake?"

"Mhm," came a muffled reply, you crept as quietly as you could into his bedroom, he appeared from underneath the bedsheets, "just reading a book."

You laid across the couch near the window, "will you read to me?"

And James did read to you, you didn't mind that it was Charlotte's Web of all books, his soothing voice was enough to knock you out after ten minutes.

•

Things became a lot better as the months passed, but one morning when you woke up and when it seemed as though nobody else had woken up yet you began to think.

Because when you were alone it was even worse, like everything was against you.

And that led you to overthink which caused your heart to race and your hands to shake uncomfortably.

You had come so far and it felt like you were back to square one. You couldn't do this.

"Y/N, everything is fine," it was Kirk, he had his arm around you and you felt your chest loosen a little. You weren't alone anymore.

"Whatever it is, it's only a small problem and you're so much bigger than that. You're so much stronger than that. You're fine."

And after a long time of the guy's supporting you, you began to realize you were fine, everything was going to be just fine because they were there for you and you didn't have to go through it alone.

•

Based off of Headcanon #7
I'd love to know what you think!