WHAT HAPPENS TO THE HEART

THEN.IV

Part II: (We Are) Going Back

THEN. IV

Him

"How are you, guys?"

"We're good, you know? Great, even!"

"How great?"

"We're so great that we're moving in together!"

"No shit!"

"Yeah, man".

Jon high fived me. We raised our glasses and drank to that.

"You're not nervous that you're going to step on each other's toes? It's a big step."

"But I have done it before."

"Of course! Christine?"

"Christine."

He paused.

"Whatever happened with her, man?"

"You mean like, where is she now?"

"No. I mean, what happened between you two?"

"Oh!"

There was a brief period in our lives when me and Jon did not keep up with each other. He had his stuff, I had mine. Mine coincided with being in a relationship with Christine. We didn't see each other much in that period.

"Christine was...still is, I think, a force to be reckoned with. She's very intense in everything she does. Very objective-based kind of person, you know?"

"Was that overwhelming?"

"A lot yeah. At the same time, I'd be hypocritical not to admit that she was also inspiring."

"Huh," he mumbled for himself.

"I guess it's her upbringing. She was raised to move mountains. Her whole family is like that. I mean, think about it, remember when we were in our early 20s and we'd work on those crappy wages?"

"Never heard of that, no." he replied sarcastically.

"Right," I continued, "Christine refused to fall into that category. She worked hard, relentlessly pursuing the next big thing in her career. She was never content. There was this moment where I had to decide whether I'd use the money I had to buy a meal or sacrifice the money and get a video game, or something. And then for my birthday she'd get me something ridiculously fancy, like a watch or an iPad, something I'd never have been able to afford."

"Impressive. I'd imagine you were heart warmed."

"For sure, at first. But then, when you sit and thing about it, the dynamic was weird. I just felt as if I couldn't keep up with her, you know?"

"Because she made more money than you?"

"No, it's not that. That was great, something to be proud of. Your girlfriend's having an awesome career and money to show for it - It's awesome."

"Huh – he said, considering all that for a moment. Me and Sarah, we've never had that."

"Yeah, your dynamic is different...More balanced?"

He agreed. They were both working as lawyers at the same firm.

"You felt that with Christine?"

"Yes. Always. It was in her nature. She LOVED the challenge, the hustle."

"Did she ever tell you that she wanted to see more from you?"

"She never verbalized it, no. But it was kind of implied. It's hard to describe. It was always there, in the back of my mind."