Star Wars: Dar'Aliit

Chapter One: The Beginning of the End

We were kids. We were fricking children. And they sent us to war.

"Kian!"

I hit the ground. Dirt slams in my visor, armor crunching into my stomach and ribs. The air is hot. It's damp and sticking to the roof of my mouth. And the whole world is loud, so loud that I can only hear my heart thudding in my chest.

There's screaming. There's blood. There's war.

And a head which lands beside mine. A head without a body.

I stare at it. I'm staring at myself, my face, my hazel eyes, glossed over and struck with fear. I can't hear my heartbeat anymore. I'm screaming. Bile hits my throat, I want to vomit, I want to run, but I'm stuck to the ground, staring at my future inches from my face and all I can do is scream.

I'm going to die here.

#

4 BBY Aboard the Calamity

"Commander on deck!"

I look up and down the row of faces that greets me inside the debriefing rom. I'm tired. Exhausted, actually. My body wouldn't fault me if I laid down on the floor and went back to sleep. But I cannot sleep, and I cannot lay on the floor, I have a debriefing to run.

The faces in the room watch me. The faces of my men. The original team with Zur, Dross, R3 and myself, and of course the other's we've picked up, Rho, Esho, Kanor, Michael. We're down one now.

I wipe that memory from my foggy mind, however, and simply take up my place near the holographic table in the center of the room. Everyone around me is stiff.

"At ease." I hate how stiff they all stand when I walk into a room. I can breathe again as they relax.

Only one person looks my way, Myren. I can't help but smile to myself, even knowing we have work to do.

Clearing my throat, I look up. "I'm sure you're all aware by now, Lord Vader is here." I pause, simply for the effect, and go on. "He will be vetting us all. This isn't optional."

I can see the questions in their eyes. They know. I have questions too. And there will be plenty of questions coming right at us. But I trust everyone in this room. My team, Kanor's team, even Myren. I only hope in turn I haven't misplaced that trust. Again.

With a quick glance I take in everyone again, the variety of expressions, the tight brows. Beyond these people, do I know who to trust?

If I'm wrong-I can't entertain the thought, but it eats at my stomach anyway. I'm not even listening, and Dross's lips are moving. He's asking questions. Thankfully Myren is answering for me.

She knows everything. I can trust her. Through all the bile swimming in my gut, I know that, and call it intuition or indigestion, I trust my gut.

"Is that all?" Myren looks at me.

I nod weakly. "Dismissed."

With salutes and nods they scatter with Kanor shouting at Esho to run laps as they're out the door. I grip the table with both hands and stare at it. I feel sick, sicker than I did waking up this morning.

Myren lingers.

"You're quiet," she notes as she taps away at her datapad.

I can't get the bile out of my throat, but her voice is a welcome reprieve to my own thoughts. I can't lie to her either, not well anyway. As I said, she knows everything, and that includes everything about me. She knows what I've seen. What I've survived. The mistakes I've made.