A Beautiful New Wonderland

~{07}~

Alice: 

I watch Vlad leave, and I saw the heartbreak in his face. Oh, why am I so damn stupid!? Why do I always do this shit?! I sit in my desk and just let myself sob. I was supposed to be married, but when Greg found out I was going to England to take over my mother's business, he got pissy and called it off. Now I have two handsome guys I'm grateful for and all the help they provide, and I go and kiss one of them, like a school girl! I could tell Vlad wanted to be more with me, to go farther, but I let myself get scared, I pushed him away!

" Miss Alice, what ever is the matter?! Where is Vlad?" 

" He's no doubt pouting in his room." 

" Did he upset you?" 

" No, but I think I upset him, and now I'm self-sabotaging all over again, like I did the last time I let my feelings win!"

" Slow down and take a breath. Now, tell me what happened." 

" You promise you won't judge me?" 

" I swear it, Ma'am."

I dry my eyes and calm down, letting myself breathe a bit before explaining things to Walter. 

" Ok, well, when I came here, I had just gotten out of an engagement because the man I was suppose to marry hated how I had to live in England now, and so the moment I left he started to date my arch rival from high school, Shelby, and she's always chased after my scraps, like a mangy dog. I'm an almost 19 year old virgin and I'm fine with it, but honestly, I'm starting to think that I just have a curse to attract either stupid or dangerous men, and honestly, I hate it! I let myself fall for not one, but two people, and yet I can't have either, and neither can have me, and its just so fucking pathetic and stupid!"   

I felt the tears well up again, and Walter simply just pets my head quietly. 

" You know what I think?"

" What?" 

" You sound just like your mother when she was in her 30's. She worried if she'd be a spinstress, only to not fall for one, but two men. One was a Count of the court, the other your father. Well, I guess we both know who got her affections, and she waited until she was married. Your father tried, but the Count offered money and security. I understand the want to be committed before one gets brash, but be careful of who you chose. If my theory on who these gentlemen are is right, then you'll have a choice to make. " 

" Oh, and what are those?" 

" One of these gentlemen is more beast then beauty, and he longs for commitment from a bride, the other is no doubt ironically forbidden fruit of Adam, yes?" 

" Yeah, they are." 

" Then I highly suggest going for the beast over the forbidden fruit. One of these we know, trust, and is in house, with respect and power with in the court. The other belongs to the enemy, and while you may have mended old wounds and convinced him to trust you, or to even hold affections, he is a priest first, man second. God is his master, and Maxwell barks the orders he fulfills in God's name. At the least with Vlad you'll know he genuinely loves you, with Anderson, you'll always be wondering if he's in love with you, or in love with the idea of being close to you because of your line of work." 

I dry my eyes, and give him a smile. 

" Yeah, I guess you're right. But what will the court think? The great Hellsing family brought to shame because I just had to fall for the very vampire we own." 

" To be fair, you don't, not really anymore. After Integra's death, he was set free. He chose to stick around because he wanted to make sure you lived up to if not surpassed her legacy, and you have in just the short time you've been in charge. You are both adults and individuals of your own merit. I say hogwash to those who dare deny you both what you two clearly need from each other." 

" So...even though I'm the leader of this circus, and he's the star of the show, it's not gross or weird or out of line?" 

" I won't sit back and watch another Hellsing wish wash on their love life in perpetual agony. I say go for it, and tell anyone who should try to deny you to fuck right off, Ma'am." 

I get up, hug him, and bolt for the basement, not wasting a moment. I get to his door and knock, only for it to open on its own. 

" And pray tell what do you want, Alice?" 

" You, I want you. I want you to be my best friend, my rock, my advisor...my boyfriend." 

His face fell, but not in hurt, but shock. " You don't mean that." 

" I do. I know what I said earlier was cruel, and I was being toxic when I did it, and I've come to fix a wrong I made. I saw how hurt you were, and to be honest, I was just as hurt by my own stupidity. I left a shitty engagement back home, and I'm glad I did, so now that I know what it is I really want from a husband, and what I want is you. I'm not saying now, I'm not saying never, but I need someone like you, and you need someone like me." 

He pulls me in, and kisses me deeply, his hands in my hair and around my waist, pulling me up and into him, his scent washing over me, his need and want filled me. I loved how his fangs threatened to nip at my lip, but never did, how his tongue controlled mine, how his mustache tickled my skin in the most pleasant way possible. I felt the safest I had ever been, I felt the most loved I had ever been, and I knew he'd always be by my side. I pull back for air, his head resting on mine, and a genuine smile I didn't see often rested on these perfect lips.

" You have made me the happiest man in the world, Alice. I promise, when you are ready and want to, I'll make it to where we never have to leave each other's side, but until then, we run Hellsing just as we have been." 

" Vlad, when the day comes to place an heir on the throne, I want you to promise me you won't get jealous. Vampires can't have children, and a dhampir isn't smart due to mother mortality." 

" I know, and when the day comes, I'll behave and keep my emotions in line. Now, here's my request. You tell that priest he's to remember his place, to lose all affections for you he's grown. I will not share you, for I am a greedy man." 

" I wouldn't ever ask you to share. I'll talk to him, and if he doesn't respect my wishes, I'll let you scare him off. Fair?" 

" More then fair, draga mea. I love you." 

" I love you too. Now, let's go back to work, yes?" 

" Yes, let's. "