Shattered

30. Gesture

I slump down in a chair and stare at the kitchen full of flowers wondering what I am going to do with all of them.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and draft a message to Darren. I read over it before sending it.

To: Darren
I appreciate the gesture. But maybe instead of roses, we could talk?

I shove the phone back in my pocket and whip my head back to hang over the top of the chair.

Valentine's Day sucks when you are single.

But maybe this is his way of saying he wants to give it another shot. We can be a family again. I hold my stomach. We can finally build our dream life together.

Casey walks into the kitchen and bursts out in laughter. She can not control herself.

"Cas," I laugh with her, knowing she is laughing at how ridiculous this is.

"I'm sorry. This is just hilarious. He hasn't called you or anything? But then he sends you 2,000 roses. Oh. Sorry. 1,825 roses. Ha!" She picks one up and admires it. "If I wasn't worried about burning the house down, I'd set them on fire for you."

"I texted him and said I appreciate it. Even though I think it is stupid to waste money on all this."

"You did what?!" Casey speaks with that tone she only gets when she is disappointed in me.

I shrug. "He did a nice thing. Plus I asked him to talk."

"Oh, honey." Casey leans over and squeezes my shoulders. "Never ever let a man make you text him first. Always make him beg for it." She shakes her head.

I shrug as I stand up. "I think I'm getting a freaking headache from the smell. There's so many of-" the sentence does not finish leaving my lips before I am spewing vomit all over the pink and red roses on my floor.

"Well," casey stares at the scene. "I guess we won't be donating that pile."

"Gross," I wipe my lip with a napkin. "Sorry."

"That's totally a sign from the universe, btw." Casey hands me a rag for my face. "I think we are down to an even 1,700 now." She continues cracking jokes.

"I need some fresh air." I check my phone again once I am on the front porch. Darren has not texted me back yet. I consider texting him again for just a moment before Casey's words about making a man beg ring in my ears.

Before I can consider doing anything else, a car pulls into the driveway. I am disappointed when Chris gets out. I groan. "I might puke again," I whisper under my breath.

"Hey!" He walks up the pathway.

I wave with a nod and cross my arms over my chest to shield me from the chill on the air. It is cold today but I do not want to go back inside because the roses are in there and I will absolutely hurl again.

"Is your dad home? He said to stop by but he didn't say if it was a good time. I popped over anyways."

"Yeah, he's upstairs in his office."

He stops in front of me, examining my face. "You okay?"

I shrug, already crying. "I just threw up everywhere and I just want to be alone right now."

Chris nods and walks around me. He is silent for a good amount of time. I know he has not gone inside yet because the door has not opened since I came out here.

I feel the warmth of a fuzzy coat on my shoulders and arms before the door opens and shuts, telling me I am alone now.

I cry at the kind gesture. He wants to make sure I am warm. I appreciate that. Lately, Chris has been different. He has respected my boundaries and I have to give him credit for that.

The door opens again after a few minutes.

Chris walks past me with three bags of trash. I can see through the semi-transparent bag that roses are inside.

They must be the ones I threw up all over inside. He was only in there for a few minutes. He decided to help Casey clean up our of the goodness of his heart and without hesitation.

Unless he is getting rid of any sign that anyone else could love me.

My phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out and see that I have a text.

From: Darren
Roses?

I look up at Chris who is at the street, opening up the trash can lid and throwing in vomit-covered roses.

Roses he sent me.