𝗨𝗟𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗢𝗟𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘 - 𝘄.𝗿.

ix. 𝗶 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻

RISING
IRIS JONES

*iris jones' point of view*

—————————⋆⋅☆⋅⋆—————————

SHES MY fucking sister and i know that. i've resented her for five, almost six years because she shut me out and left and now i feel like i'm doing the same thing. 

i seen her yesterday. for the first time in fucking years. she looks a lot different. her body has slimmed down a ton, probably from the drugs but she doesn't look extremely unhealthy. her hair is still red but has turned lighter since she's older; it's still frizzy and wild as always. she's still absolutely gorgeous. always has been.

i meant it when i told her that i had heard her song. i knew who it was without even having to look at the radio. i could her the cracks in her voice when she sang; she's more alto than me so when she sings high notes her voice cracks, but not in an annoying way, it's unique and beautiful. me and her both co-wrote a song called "stumbled on sublime" a month or two before she left. then i heard some guy singing it on the radio and couldn't help but wonder if daisy did that on purpose.

i hated seeing her. for so long all i've ever wanted was my sister. wanted to see her again, no matter the cause or effect of it. i wanted my sister. i wanted to hug her. i want her to cry to me telling me that she missed me. i wanted my big sister back.

but seeing yesterday after so many years and her acting like she still gave two fucks about me, was not what i wanted. it can sound selfish, but to be honest with you, i don't care. she was selfish when she decided to leave me. she was selfish when she decided to go about our dreams and become part of some band. she was selfish when she looked at me yesterday and said "did somebody hurt you" because of the bruises on my wrists.

yeah, daisy. somebody hurt me. but the only reason i was ever with that douchebag is because you left. because our dad thought i was just so lonely without you. thanks by the way.

but the bruises were in fact fresh. from the night before. and yes, they're from matthew corey. i didn't go back to my childhood home when i got back to california, i ended up getting an apartment on the other side of town. this one is a lot smaller than my one in new york, but to be honest i kind of love it. it's only ever me here. i've been here for a few months and i've been slowly deciding on getting a cat but i'm still debating.

i didn't think anybody would know that i was back here. that was until matthew showed up on my doorstep two days ago, sluggishly. jack daniels in his hand. apparently when i was recording with sunshine records, jason (my dads friend jim's nephew) whom is also friends with matthew, spilled the news to him that i was back here. nobody knew my address, i was sure not to give it out to just anybody, so to be honest i have no idea how he found me. but, i could never put it past him.

it was all so weird, seeing him again. he doesn't look all out together like he used to. his unshaven jaw and shaggy hair is what really took me for a spin, his father has been adament on him looking clean and put together for public purposes; clearly it doesn't matter anymore.

i opened the door before looking through the peep-hole, and when i saw his face i think my heart fell to the floor. i couldn't say anything to him; my mind was in between going a million miles a minute to being completely empty.  he was drunk, of course. sometimes i sit and wonder if his drinking had anything to do with me; if i wasn't reliable enough and he needed something stronger. something more promising.