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"Jongwoo, let's talk."
Jiwoong grabbed Jongwoo's arm as he came out of the practice room. Even though Jongwoo had to go back in soon and practice until he dropped dead, he had no motivation to do so. So he just let Jiwoong lead him along. It wasn't until they got to the stand at the field where the Planet Sports Day was being held that Jiwoong let go of Jong-woo's arm.
The place reminded Jongwoo that it wasn't long ago that he was still on the Over me team. Just thinking about it made his heart ache again. He forced a straight face and asked.
"What?"
"They said you weren't going to do the killing part," Jiwoong said.
Jongwoo chuckled bitterly.
"Did you come all the way here to ask me that? Like it's a big deal? It's not like it would be mine if I raise my hand to do it."
"Why didn't you challenge yourself?"
"There wasn't much time left... and I didn't feel confident."
Jiwoong bit his lip. He just wanted to embrace Jongwoo's slumped shoulders. Jongwoo had worked so hard for this, and this mission, the last stage before the final, was a matter of life and death. How painful it must be to be pushed aside by his own teammates.
But as Jongwoo said, time was running out. If he hesitated longer at this point, it would be over. So Jiwoong sternly scolded him.
"Did you feel so confident during the Backdoor mission back then? You just had to be desperate and go for it."
"I did the same this time too, I did!"
Jongwoo involuntarily raised his voice. His knuckles turned white as he clenched his T-shirt.
"I took on the leader role without calculation and poured everything into it, but I didn't get any recognition! On the other hand, I haven't contributed anything to the Switch team. If I asked for the killing part, I would have been blamed for being greedy. I really did my best for the Over me team, but I guess no one else thought that way..."
His throat tightened as he went on. He was about to shed tears again, but he laughed it off like it was nothing.
"I think this is it for me. Hyung, don't waste any more of your precious time on me, go practice."
He tried to speak calmly, but it sounded like a childish tantrum. He couldn't lift his head in front of Jiwoong, who was so considerate of him, but at the same time, he wished Jiwoong would get angry. It would be better to get punched and distract himself from the pain in his heart that stabbed with every breath.
Jiwoong grabbed his shoulders tightly with both hands and suddenly pushed his face forward. Jongwoo couldn't step back, and just opened his eyes wide.
"What... what are you doing?"
"You like my face, right? I wanted you to see it up close and feel better."
Jongwoo chuckled in disbelief, but suddenly Jiwoong put his hand on the back of his neck. What's going on? He had a familiar feeling... Jongwoo never forgets a sensation he has experienced before.
It was during their first shoot. When he pretended to kiss Jiwoong, Jiwoong took his right hand off and put it around his neck. Even now, he feels like he is being pulled gently like back then. Was it not just my imagination? What's going on?
Jiwoong whispered from such a close distance that his breath touched his face.
"Why aren't you stepping back?"
The hand that held his shoulders now moved down, and he could have avoided it if he wanted to. But why do I freeze up like a statue? Jiwoong, who had been staring at him, lowered his eyelids halfway and smiled.
"When I ask you a question, you should answer."
It was a gentle voice, but Jongwoo felt a pressure that he couldn't postpone anymore. He tried to say something, but something strange came out of his mouth.
"Do I have to step back?"
"You know what will happen if you don't, right? I'm getting so close to you."
"You didn't move away either. Not even trying to avoid me back then, but instead..."
"That was in front of the camera, but we're not now."
Their breathing collided, and his lips became moist. Jongwoo finally met Jiwoong's eyes. He felt dizzy from the intense gaze, but he didn't look away. He finally made up his mind.
"Then there's no reason to move away from you."
At that moment, Jiwoong closed the remaining distance and their lips met. Oh my god... is this real? Jongwoo's mind went blank and all other thoughts disappeared. When Jiwoong pulled his lips away, Jongwoo staggered forward. Jiwoong held him and asked again.
"Jongwoo, is this the beginning or the end?"
"Why... are you asking me that?"
"Because it's up to you. It will happen as you want it to."
It was already a problem with an answer for Jiwoong, but he wanted to give Jongwoo a sense of control. To help him break free from helplessness. Jongwoo, who had been looking at him without blinking, finally opened his mouth.
"It's the end."
Jiwoong's heart instantly sank down. Was it arrogant of me to believe that your decision would be the same as mine? But Jongwoo added with a smile.
"The end of our relationship as friends. And a new beginning."
Jiwoong felt relieved as if he had the whole world.
"Yeah, there's nothing predetermined. You decide where to go. Just like now. Do you understand?"
Jongwoo nodded his head. The song ringing in his head from the moment Jiwoong's lips touched his was the Switch. Like Jiwoong pushed a switch to turn him on, the darkness in his heart disappeared completely, replaced by a new light.
One verse of the lyrics comes to his mind on its own. "Like being born again, as if you're giving me life..." It's unbelievable. Could something like this really happen, not just in a song but in real life?"
I can do it, Jongwoo thought. Now that he knows how it feels, he has the confidence that he can do the Switch better than any other song. With clear eyes full of conviction, he looked at Jiwoong and replied.
"Yes."
"Let's go practice."
Jiwoong gently pushed his back. That touch made Jongwoo's heart flutter. More than just a moment ago when their lips briefly met and then separated. Now, Jiwoong really makes his heart flutter.
