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Jiwoong felt like his heart, which had been barely holding on, was now cracking into pieces. He held onto Jongwoo's hand with even more desperation, not wanting to collapse.
"Why are you saying that? It hasn't been that long since we started."
"That's why today should be the easiest day to do so."
Jiwoong couldn't take it anymore and stood up abruptly.
"You want me to forget all of that? That I met you, kept looking at you, grew on you, and fall deeply for you? Like nothing ever happened? Can you do that? Or... have you already done it?"
"I don't want to cause any trouble to you. Our paths are different. Anyway... we won't be able to last long."
"Jongwoo."
Jiwoong grabbed Jongwoo's hand with one hand and his shoulder with the other, preventing him from escaping. They made direct eye contact for the first time since Jiwoong had entered.
"Why are you at the practice room? If you're going back home anyway, why did you come out? What about the Boys Planet? It was a program that only lasted three months anyway. Why did you join and do your best?"
Without anything to refute, Jongwoo stayed silent. Jiwoong continued talking.
"What you're saying now is the same as saying why bother living if you're going to die anyway. I will get it if it's the end because you don't like me anymore. But if not, don't do this. Don't deny the time we spent together and the feelings we shared."
Me no longer having feelings for you... as if it will be ever possible. But this is probably the last chance Jiwoong gives him for a smooth transition. Jongwoo squeezed out the last drop of his remaining will and opened his palm.
"Okay, I don't like you anymore, so take it back."
The white name tag stood out even more against his red-stained palm. Jiwoong stared at his palm for a while, then unexpectedly smiled, neither a bitter nor forced one to Jongwoos' surprise. Instead, Jiwoong beamed as if a ship lost in a storm had found the Stella Polaris again.
"You brought it all the way here? Like you expected me to come today? Or..."
Jongwoo tried to quickly retract his hand, but Jiwung caught his wrist and didn't let go.
"Like you've been eagerly waiting for me."
Oh, I lose it again. Jongwoo smirked without even realizing it. It has been clear from the very beginning that he couldn't handle Jiwoong. Still, he struggled in vain. The feeling of defeat was surprisingly sweet and comforting.
Jiwoong gently stroked Jongwoo's palm with his thumb and asked.
"Jongwoo, I'll ask you one last question. Answer me honestly. If you debuted and I fell behind, and then I disappeared without a trace, what do you think you would have done?"
Jongwoo let go of his pointless stubbornness and answered obediently.
"I would have tried to find you no matter what."
"Why? To ask me to return the name tag? Or to tell me that our worlds have become too different and it's over now?"
Jongwoo punched Jiwoong lightly on the shoulder as he giggled and teased.
"Come on! I get it. You won, so do as you wish."
"Music to my ears. Then I keep loving you and you keep pursuing your dream, deal?"
What kind of deal is that... double advantageous to me, Jongwoo thought, but he nodded as he had no objection. Jiwoong continued.
"One more. What makes you so sure that we won't last long? You still don't know me yet. If I were the kind of person who easily falls apart and gives up, I wouldn't have made it this far. It took me seven years to get here, while you've been there for just a year, kiddo. Can you see whose fault it would be if we don't last long?"
Jongwoo felt a bit frustrated by his lecture and being treated like a child, so he retorted back at Jiwoong.
"Fine, fine. You can go back to your precious seven-year gem, and just make sure you don't forget the name of that group again!"
For a moment, Jiwoong's expression hardened.
"I warned you not to make fun of me. If you keep doing that..."
He suddenly pulled Jongwoo's wrist, which he had been holding onto, and their bodies collided with their chests touching.
"Just a joke..."
As Jongwoo spoke in a hurried manner, his mouth was covered by Jiwoong's lips.
It was a kiss brimming with a raw and unbridled desire, far beyond the tentative and cautious kisses they had shared before. Their heartbeats echoed heavily like the sound of two bells ringing at the same time.
Was this what it felt like to have two hearts? Jongwoo's body surged with so much energy that it seemed as though a generator were furiously running inside him and threatening to burst out.
"Hyung..."
Jongwoo stood leaning against the wall, calling out to him as he caught his breath. Jiwoong had to grit his teeth when he saw Jongwoo's heated eyes with a tint of red, reminding himself that they were in someone else's practice room in broad daylight.
"If you want to see me go crazy, keep doing this. Hiding and saying nonsense... looking at me like that."
"I won't!"
Jongwoo, startled, quickly lowered his gaze. Jiwoong raised his hands and took a step back.
"Big, big trouble... You're being too cute, what am I supposed to do?"
After securing a safe distance, Jongwoo regained his composure and shrugged his shoulders.
"What else can you do? Just keep loving me until you don't. Now, you should get rid of pointless worries and go shine like the sun."
Ever since we met in that practice room, however, you have never stopped shining, Jongwoo silently added with a smile. Jiwoong smiled back as if he had read his mind.
"Sun sounds too much... But even if I'm the sun, I still need a home to return to every day. That's you, Yoon Jongwoo."
As if trying to high-five, Jiwoong raised his hand, and Jongwoo grabbed it, interlocking his fingers with Jiwoong's.
He doesn't know when he would let Jiwoong's hand go, but for now, he decides not to think about that. Let's just do our best to hold on, Hyung. Like we've been doing all along.
[End]
Thank you for staying with me through the journey and in a sweet lingering dream after that. I wish you nothing but happiness. Sending love.
