#상자 안의 남자|Man In The Box. | Gayeon

MITB. | 1

THIS  CHAPTER CONTAINS MATURE & TRIGGERING THEMES LIKE:
mentions of su!c!de & self-harm
eating disorders, depression, and murder.

Almost dying is always an interesting story to tell, people are usually intrigued by how you 'almost' died and how you survived it.

It's not so interesting when no one believes your story.

After a few nights in the psych ward, they had fully admitted Jooyeon into a mental hospital. All he was able to do was plead and plead with them but they wouldn't listen and the more he told his story, the more insane they thought he was.

They thought he was too much for a ward and they needed him contained. Lucky for Jooyeon, he learned his lesson and stopped telling his story. He hated the fact that no one believed him though and he was so sick of the invalidation. He almost died for fucks sake and no one wanted to believe him.

Jooyeon spent most of his time in the mental hospital crying in his bed, wallowing, and ignoring everything around him.

They had him on two medications; a placebo for schizophrenia and a prescription for anxiety that made him practically numb most of the time but after the first month his body started to get used to the medication and it stopped working so well.

The first week he was there he tried hiding his pills in a cup to try and overdose once he collected enough but, the nurses found it before he could get it halfway and that only got him more time in the hospital.

Over the two months that Jooyeon was stuck there, he developed an eating disorder. At times he wouldn't eat at all, sometimes he would eat incredibly little or he'd eat enough for the day and just go back to sleep. His emotions were all messed up and that affected every part of his life, all his habits. Everything.

A part of him was still somewhat hung up on Jiseok but the rest of him knew he had to let go.

He tried to kill him. There was no going back to him.

No matter how badly he wanted to.

Most of the time he spent asleep was spent dreaming
about Jiseok and what their relationship could've been.

The only other coping mechanism besides sleeping he had was self-harm. He managed to sneak a pair of the kid's scissors they had for arts and crafts from the rec room and he broke off a piece of the plastic. He hid it inside his pillow so no one ever found it and he was sure to be discreet and not get caught.

Most nights whenever he'd have nightmares about the night in the warehouse he would sit up in his bed, crying and scratching up his arms and legs with the broken plastic, never going too deep since it would raise too much suspicion with the nurses. Scratches were far easier to hide and explain.

It wasn't ideal but eventually, Jooyeon got used to it and he started to feel safe in there. Being there so long made him realize Jiseok couldn't get to him, no one could get to him. Which was a pro and a con.

It was incredibly hard for him to see his friends now and they were more than capable of discharging Jooyeon, he just hadn't asked them to yet in fear of Jiseok's return.

Would he even come after him again?

Even if he didn't, Jooyeon was afraid of that too. A part of him still wished Jiseok loved him and would want him, but even if he did return, he couldn't forgive him. Not after what he tried to do, right?

He often thought about if it'd even matter since his friends barely believed him, they couldn't tell him it'd be a bad idea if they did reconnect because they were unsure any of it happened.