Eventually, it's been a month since the day Calista left me. Everyday and even every hour that i through was nothing but hell. No food tasted good when i miss those times she feed me dinner, no nights felt comfortable without her holding me on bed like a cover, and no more cozy morning when the first thing i remember two seconds after waking up was only her, plus the aching fact that she is not here.
That was my fault, i admit. I didn't think talking to an ex could hurt her that much until i imagine if it was her talking to someone from her past, or someone who i know is into her like Diego, or anyone treathens my position as her girl. I would gone crazy probably before doing things out of my sane mind then end up in jail.
But when will this end? When will she decide that i suffer enough after the whole month? She said it she would call and text, but in reality, she was never there everytime i tried to call her. Well, i thank her for typing goodnights every night. But does she really think replying my text once in a day is enough?
I've been keeping up with my daily activity while trying my best to fullfill her expectation toward me. I refused to even get up from my bed in the first day, but then Dana told me to show the best i can do instead so that Calista would see my sincerity in changing to be better and she could come back sooner. But until tonight, it doesn't seem like working.
If i would, i could be out this time joining my friends who are at a party chugging whiskey and having all fun. But i choose not to, i'm still hoping Calista will suddenly show up to my apartment like she did few times before. I don't stop hoping after thirty nights passed, i don't want her to see me get drunk after my hard effort staying in my angelic behaviour for her all this time.
But will she come though?
I can't help but to bitterly laugh at my own thought. It's a friday night, 9 pm, and here i am sadly on my bed reading my very little interactions with Calista for the past few weeks through text. We both change a lot. It's clear from these chat how I turn to be desperate and she is now so cold. From this conversation in my phone, i don't think she will appear in the near future except some miracle happens.
I throw my phone somewhere behind when i realize that going through our old conversation just make me more sad. Finally, i decide to just try and close my eyes. I'm so sleep deprieved, my eyes could be so heavy during classes. But like always, i can't sleep at nights. I will maybe sleep for a solid twelve hours when Calista comes back in time. Inside her arms, with her hands stroking on my back and a lot of kisses rocking me to sleep. I'm so longing for all of that.
Unbelievably, just by imagining that in my head, i now feel actually sleepy and magically feels like so close to fall asleep. I'm hugging a teddy which is supporting my imagination of having Calista besides me. I sleep deeper slowly, until i heard some knocks on my door that get my eyes open wide again feeling so happy.
"Calista? Is that you?" I scream on my own, jumping down my bed to run for the door like i was a Bolt.
"Calista-"
I open the door, only to be disappointed after all my high hopes.
"Amanda here."
"And this is Kevin if you forgot. What are you doing sleeping in at Friday night? Come join us."
"No. I think i-"
"Don't think, Irene. It's been so long you're acting weird like this. Go get changed, and let's come with us."
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×Calista×
I get rid of my temporary madness after spending some times alone somewhere Irene never knows.
