A Court of Love and Devotion

XII

NYX

Amren had been waiting, arms crossed, in the foyer of the river house. "Well, if that's not our golden trio," she tsked. "Are you trying to beat your fathers in idiocies?"

Catrin smirked. "Hello, Amren. We're also happy to see you again. No, don't worry, we're fine. Both Aria and I almost died in the past three days but nothing to fuss about."

Amren flattened her brows. "Don't think your brush with death will keep you from being scolded."

Catrin only shrugged and walked to the family room where everyone had already gathered. Amren sighed and followed after her.

Nyx took a step before looking back at Aria. She was frowning and chewing on her lip. "Aren't you coming?"

"I am," she replied. "But I'm trying to think first on how to approach the subject of what we witnessed."

Nyx closed the distance with her. "Let's just...speak from our hearts." Aria looked up at him and paused before she nodded. "We need to talk about it, sure. But you have to promise me that you won't hold a grudge. It was decades ago and they have all moved on. We'll have to move on, too."

The thing was, Aria was stubborn. Both of her parents were and Aria loved her mother too much to be able to look past what happened. So only Aunt Nesta could get her out of her head.

Nyx put his arm around her shoulder and walked with her to the family room. Everyone was sitting on the couches and armchairs. Aria and Nyx took a seat next to Catrin and Callum.

Uncle Azriel spoke first. "Obviously, we are all happy that things ended well. But the four of you took immense risks that could have been avoided. First of all, you, Callum," he looked at his son. "Going to the middle, on your own, in the middle of the night..."

"I wanted to practice my spying," Callum explained.

"There are better ways to practice," his father replied. "Safer ways, too."

"We're glad you came home safely and you informed us," Rhysand added. "But you should have gone directly to us and not your cousins. And the three of you," he looked at his son, primarily. "Should have waited for us. We can only hope that there will be no next time but in the unfortunate case that there is, I would hope you would know better." He spoke firmly but kindly.

"We're sorry," Nyx said. "For acting before thinking and for worrying you."

His father gave him a small smile and nodded. "Let's leave it at that, then."

"I'm not sorry," Aria blurted. Nyx had to close his eyes and clamp his lips. "I'm not sorry," she repeated. "I'm glad I went."

"Aria," her father warned.

"No. You don't get to play bossy dad for this," Aria shook her head. "You let her down. All of you. She was suffering and you abandoned her." Her voice was surprisingly calm and composed. Perhaps it made the whole thing worse.

"Sweetie, I left," her mother said. "I'm the one who moved out and chose to stay away. I destroyed myself willingly."

"They could have kept it from happening," Aria added. "They actively paid for your self-destruction and then complained about it."

"I agree with you," Feyre said, her head resting on her fist. "I agree that we should have cut her off a long time ago. That we shouldn't have paid for her apartment, her drinking and gambling. That it lasted longer than it should have."

Aria stared at her aunt, her face unreadable. "But?"

"There's no but," Feyre answered. "Only now what? Are you expecting us to go back to the past once more and change the course of things?"

"No," Aria shook her head. "I know the past can't be changed. What I want is an explanation. What I want is to understand." She turned to Mor. "You hated her guts. Why?"

Mor had the decency to look ashamed. "I wish I could give you an answer, Aria. The truth is, even if I found your mother hateful in the past, I wasn't any better. At least not to her. Maybe, deep down, I was jealous. That your father's attention was on someone else. I'll admit that." Mor studied her for a moment. "I don't know what snarky remark my past self made, but I am sorry if I hurt your feelings, Aria."

Aria pursed her lips and turned to her father. "You never defended her. None of you, even after everything she had done during the war with Hybern. You were all treating her like a liability, like a monster even."

"Aunt Feyre," Catrin asked. "Why was there no painting of Nesta?" Nyx looked at his mother whose eyes went a bit wide. "Did she only get a portrait after Nyx was born?" His mother nodded and it took all his restraints not to scoff.

"I have no answer to that," she responded.

"The House of Wind," Nyx said, angling his head. "You sent her there. At the time, it must have felt like a prison to you, Aunt Nesta."

The female cocked her brow. "I believe it was supposed to be so. Look," she sat on the edge of her seat. "What you saw happened over two decades ago. I was difficult, I made a lot of mistakes. And the truth is, I was being punished more than I was being helped. Only, we all had that conversation years ago."

"I was hurting her as much as she was hurting me," Uncle Cassian said. "All of us here have made mistakes when it comes to that situation. I should have defended her more, sure. Rhys and Mor were both quick to think her a monster, yes. Amren has been particularly unkind, well obviously." That earned him a scowl from the petite female. "All of us talked it out and apologized."

Aria was breathing heavily next to Nyx. Aunt Nesta stood and crouched before her daughter. "They judged me from the moment they met me and I treated them the same way. We have all done some damage to each other. The way they handled my situation wasn't ideal but, I regret nothing.

"There were times I wished I could go back to the past and change things but I realized that I wouldn't have grown the way I was supposed to if I did. I wouldn't have learned the lessons I needed to learn, met the people I needed to meet. All of it was hard and painful but I got stronger and wiser and I regret nothing.

"I love every single person in this room with my whole entire heart. Even Uncle Rhys. Even Aunt Mor. And perhaps our bond was only strengthened because of the hardships. All I know is that everything that happened made me into the person I am today, gave me a life better than I could've imagined and I wouldn't change a thing."

Aria's mouth quavered. "I love you, Mom," she cried. "I couldn't stand it, seeing you hurt. Seeing my family broken up. I hated it."

Nyx put his arm around his cousin. So did Catrin. And Aunt Nesta. And Callum, and Elia...until all of them were linked in giant embrace as Aria sobbed against her mother's chest.

For this female who had taken a sword before she could even walk. Who had protected her sisters against anyone who even dared to look down at them. Who had been his first friend and greatest confidante. To whom family was everything.

What she had lived had been a nightmare. And Nyx knew, deep down, that should she ever stand in front of Bryaxis at the bottom of the library, Aria would live through all of it again. That her greatest fear would be to see her mother, her family, broken as she saw them a few days ago.

So he held her tightly. And didn't let go.