Me

its okay if you cry

...just this once.

question. i can just be replaced? why cant i be enough? why cant i have anyone ive ever wanted?

she says im ungrateful but im alive for her. i dont want to kill her. im in so much pain everyday for her. because of her. no one understand how much i hurt. how much it takes out of me to get up everyday. its/im miserable. i have been trying so hard to make myself happy, to make this life mean anything but i cant. ive been trying for so long. i need help. no one is acting on my cry for help. its about to be too late. i have such violent thoughts and i want to act on them so badly. so fucking badly but im really trying not to. i cant breathe sometimes. i cant catch a break. i am so tired of dong this for everyone else. i dont want to do it anymore. how can you say im selfish and that i put myself first when i dont even want to be here in the first place. who's really the ungrateful one now?

why am i never enough?

im convinced that im not meant to be happy.