I truly thought that I could have been going into labor on Tuesday night (the 26th). I was cramping, my back heart, and I felt off. At about midnight, I almost woke Tom, but decided that I would try the "wait and see" approach. I was able to get back to sleep and Tom was all the more grateful that I didn't wake him up for a "maybe."
If I were the vindictive type (and I totally am), I would have woken him. I have my moments.
In a way, I felt relief that I hadn't gone into labor then or yesterday. If I can keep it from happening for another three hours from when I'm typing this, it'll all be good. My mother and mother-in-law are flying down to see us and I won't have to worry about waking the kids in the middle of the night and praying that our friends answer the phone. Or the door.
My son is absolutely adorable and sweet, but the thought of him running up and down the halls of the laboring ward at 3:00 in the morning.... Well, it makes me shudder. Or, even better, he might try to come into the same room where I am and decide it's the perfect time to snuggle. You know, right as I'm pushing out a baby. Lovely thought.
The past couple of days I haven't felt well. I have a cold or sinus infection trying to take hold. On top of that, I've been a hot mess of hormones. I cry easily. I anger easily. I'm just plain grouchy. I snap at the kids, Tom, the dog, the cat, the annoying people on Wattpad, and the more annoying people on Facebook. I unfollowed two Facebook "friends" (more like "people I kind of knew twenty-five years ago but haven't seen since") just for annoying me. I haven't unfriended them. Yet. What they posted wasn't even horrible. I just didn't want to see it.
I'm also really nervous. Part of it is just hoping that labor goes well, but I'm nervous about my mom being here. She was an absolute godsend when she came after Timmy was born, but she didn't arrive until he was nearly two weeks old. This time, I won't have that two-week period to help me. I'm hormonal right now. I can pretty much guarantee that I will be even worse during the week after I've given birth. I've been like that with every delivery thus far. I can't imagine that it will be any different this time. And I don't want to be mean to my mom, or anyone else for that matter.
The kicker on all of this is that I have a cousin who is traveling to Florida with his wife and their three kids. I actually like this cousin, but he's one of four that I like. We aren't close like we were when we were kids, but we've lived at least 500 miles apart for the past ten years. I'm always happy when I see him, but I don't typically make plans to see him when I'm visiting Indiana.
And of course, someone suggested that my cousin and his family spend one of the nights that they travel with us. The. Same. Week. That. I. Am. Due. Oh, and it was suggested that I could make spaghetti for my guests.
Because a woman who has just given birth is dying to spend an hour and a half on her swollen feet cooking a nice meal that she won't even get to enjoy because baby WILL be crying her little head off at that time. And yes, I know that there are two becauses in that sentence. It annoys me, too.
I am trying not to be extremely stressed and pissed off about all of this. I would like to see my cousin, but I don't know that I want to have them stay overnight with my boobs flopping everywhere as I attempt to breastfeed my baby. I will have zero privacy and then to have to deal with cooking breakfast for an additional seven people (my mom and dad will be here, too) on next-to-no sleep. Gosh. I'm whining.
When my cousin spoke with me a month ago, I told him that we'd have to wait and see. I think having them over to visit for a few hours will be fine. I might even be able to make the spaghetti if Tom can help me, but the rest.... I'm not going to know until Baby arrives and I can see for myself how cooperative she will be.
Okay. No more whining in this chapter. Would you happen to have some cheesecake that you could share with me?
If I don't go into labor tonight, my last ultrasound is tomorrow morning. A part of me would like to see her this way one more time and share that experience with my mom, MIL, and my three kids. Lesa is my only child who hasn't seen this baby via ultrasound. She'd tell you that she would much rather hold her sister in her hands.
Speaking of holding the baby....
Omigosh. This could be a knockdown drag-out fight between my kids. Which one should hold the baby first: Lesa, Lyn, or Timmy? I'm torn by it and would love to be able to blame one of you for two of my children being ticked off. Okay, I wouldn't really blame you, but what's your advice? Which child gets the honor?
