𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐊 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐄. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
"my biggest regret will always be leaving
you the way i did but i'm
here right now and i'll spend the rest
of my life making it up to you...
because you're the one who has
my entire heart."
. •...
ETERNAL. chapter three — WANNA BE CLOSE "i knew one thing and one thing only... nothing will come near her."
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DEREK HALE.
MY MIND HAD BEEN COMPLETELY OCCUPIED BY ASTERIA. since our talk yesterday, i couldn't stop thinking about her. she was so stuck on my mind i couldn't focus on the training with my betas. it's only been since yesterday but i was dying to be with her again. my wolf needed her around me. it put me on edge to not have her by my side. we were always glued to each others side and never once were apart from each other unless we were busy. over the years i thought i was used to being away from her while i was grieving, but knowing she's here now and we weren't attached to the hip was foreign for me.
i mean i really can't blame her, or why things are the way they are now. it's all my fault so it's something i have to live with. that doesn't mean i'm gonna give up though. she's really the only person i have left and i wasn't going to do anything to risk losing her. i couldn't lose her, not again.
we've been texting back and forth but it wasn't the same. i wanted her with me. i wanted to lay in bed with her in my arms and talk about everything and nothing at all. i started reminiscing about all the things we used to do and make a habit of. thinking about us seemed to bring me some comfort. the ultimate comfort would be her right here by my side. with me.
i was sure she didn't reciprocate those feelings anymore. how could she? it's been years and when she saw me for the first time, i swore it looked as if she were looking right through me. like i was just a piece of glass. i didn't know what i was expecting from her anyway. it wasn't like we would just go back to the friendship we once had. that was a never ending fantasy in my head that hurt more than i'd like to admit.
the little piece of hope i always carried seemed to skyrocket after our talk yesterday. i could see i was beginning to break down her walls. i thought it would take a lot more time to get through to her but maybe there was a part of her that needed me. god i hoped so. i hoped she needed me because i know damn well i need her. more than i ever imagined.
my beta's were getting quite suspicious though. it was evident i wasn't my usual self after she left yesterday. i couldn't even focus on training them. not when she was stuck front and center in my mind. i felt bad i couldn't give them what they needed in training but there was no way i could help it. things would get better once we get used to being back in each others life.
at least i hoped things will get better.
i didn't know someone could be stuck on your mind this much. i tired forcing myself to think about anything else but my mind always came back to her. any normal person would find this completely annoying and stressful. for me i didn't necessarily mind since i was constantly thinking about the girl i love. i could only pray she was thinking about me like i am about her.
