𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐊 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐄. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
"my biggest regret will always be leaving
you the way i did but i'm
here right now and i'll spend the rest
of my life making it up to you...
because you're the one who has
my entire heart."
. •...
ETERNAL. chapter four — TASTE OF FAMILIARITY "there was something in the way her eyes twinkled that gave me more than just hope."
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DEREK HALE.
I JOLTED AWAKE WITH A HARSH GASP ESCAPING FROM DEEP IN MY THROAT. my heart was pounding vigorously in my chest walls as i attempted to push the nightmare out of my memory. i looked around my surroundings to make sure i was completely safe within my sanctuary of the abandoned train station. i attempted to control my heavy breathing to calm myself down. but i couldn't shake the nightmare out of my head. i couldn't stop seeing asteria's lifeless body. to say i was scared would be an understatement. right now i was utterly terrified.
i could still hear her screams of pain and smell the bitter metallic scent of blood. i wanted to break down in tears. it may have been just a nightmare, nothing real, but it was still something that scared me entirely. holding her in my arms as she cried in pain until her breathing slowed and heart stopped felt so real. going back to sleep wasn't an option. i was scared if i went back asleep, i'd have another nightmare of her dying in my arms.
i fought the urge to call her. it was in the middle of the night and she was for sure asleep. i didn't want to wake her up, especially since i was seeing her later on for lunch. but i couldn't feel at ease unless i knew for sure she was perfectly safe. the constant attempt of trying to tell myself it was only a nightmare and wasn't real didn't do me any justice. i was still uneasy.
for my own peace of mind, i decided to go to the mccall residence and see her for myself. i know i probably sounded insane and pathetic but at this point i didn't care. even though she messaged me as soon as she got home last night, i couldn't shake the urge right now to trust that. who knows what could've happened in those hours between her getting home and now. especially with this new threat lurking in the town.
i'm beginning to believe i'm just really fucking insane and my wolf was no help either, only making everything feel worse for me. i should've known how hard everything would be since my wolf decided to imprint on her when we were eighteen. i never realized it until it was too late and i was all the way in new york while she was here. it was definitely one of the most painful things i had to endure.
overtime it did get better except it left me with deep and dark void. i became empty of everything, i didn't care about anything else. there wasn't anything left for me to care for. i left my one true love behind making her think i died in the fire only to come back and be reminded of the intensity of our connection. how i feel for her.
i tried to give myself the benefit of the doubt by saying i was only acting like this because i imprinted on her. part of it was true. i was acting this way, clingy and wanting her with me all the time because i imprinted. the other part was because no matter what, she is still my best friend and i need her more than anything. she was all i had left and i wasn't going to let anything take her away from me.
