I WANNA BE SAVED, neteyam

Ch 29: Grief

There is five stages of grief.

First, it was denial. You simply couldn't accept that they have died. You cannot accept the loss that you feel of them no longer being there.

Ayatney had the sudden energy to clamber up onto the rock from Payakans fin, not caring if the sharp edges dug into her skin. Tsireya, who had taken the time to close his eyes and wash away as much blood as she could, turned in time to stop the older girl from falling onto her own face.

Pushing the Metkayina girl away, Ayatney's bruised hands touched his skin, the coldness of it shocking her. "Neteyam..." She whispered his name.

"Neteyam— open your eyes right now." Ayatney demanded, letting go of his hands to place hers upon his shoulders. "Please!"

Tsireya came up behind her, placing a hand on Ayatney's shoulder. "He is with Eywa now." She said, tears welling up in her eyes.

"No!" Ayatney shouted, never taking her eyes away from Neteyam's lifeless body. "He is right here Tsireya, he just needs to wake."

Then came anger, an emotion everyone must be familiar with. Its not really justified in the way you feel. It brings a pain, and you direct the cause of that pain onto someone else. You blame them— you bring them down in hopes of that they will hurt like you do.

"Neteyam— come on this isn't funny!" The rest of his family was on the rock now, watching as the girl shook him but Lo'ak had enough.

He walked over before his father could stop him, turning the girl away from his dead brother. "Stop it Ayatney!"

On multiple attempts did she try to remove Lo'ak's hands off of her. But he only put them back every time, tightening his hold each time.

"Stop it!" He demanded. The tears running down her face were painful to see. He had never seen her cry before, always having an angry or stoic look on her face.

Suddenly, as if a gear had shifted inside her mind, Ayatney looked at Lo'ak with eyes full of resentment. "You..." she whispered under her breath. She rose to her knees then to her feet, staring down at him.

"If you hadn't been so persistent on saving that tawtute... then Neteyam wouldn't have—"

Ayatney didn't even need to finish her sentence to get what she was hinting at. Lo'ak shook his head, brows furrowing at her words. He didn't regret saving Spider, he only regrets what that action had brung for his dear brother.

"Thats enough." Jake came between the two as Lo'ak stood to his full height. Ayatney didn't spare Jake a glance as she sat back down next to Neteyam.

Bargaining, simply pleading to the one highest above to have them switch your places or to undo what has been done. Maybe even pleading as to know the answer to why they were taken.

Tears obscured her vision as she took hold of Neteyam's cold hand. "Great Mother please!" Ayatney screamed to the heavens above, pleading for Eywa to answer her prayers. "Not him too— please Great Mother!"

Her sobs were loud and heavy.

She had already lost her parents and her home. What else did the Great Mother want to take from her?

Maybe this was some sort of punishment for not doing well in protecting those around her.

Fourth came depression. A feeling that drags you down mentally and physically. Like a diseases that takes over your very being and numbs you from the inside out. It could be a very long or short process, it just depends on how long you were willing to stay to wait it out.

Neytiri stepped closer to the grieving girl, wrapping her arms around her as silent tears fell from her own eyes.

"In his final moments he was asking for you, Ayatney." Neytiri's words only made the girl cry harder, the area around her eyes becoming agitated as the tears carved its own stream on her face.

Ayatney could not speak a word back, to consumed by her own tears to even think about responding to her. The girl moved herself behind Neteyam, picking up his head and upper body for her to cradle.

She wailed as she rocked their bodies back and forth.

Then finally came acceptance. You are finally able to move on. You accept the reality of your loss and you look to see how this has changed others and yourself.

Ayatney wasn't sure how long it had been. Her tears had dried and her head pounded at the pain her whole body was feeling. She was surprised that she had not collapsed yet.

Neytiri had taken her place in holding Neteyam. Gently moving his hair to the side and brushing away droplets of water that would land in his skin.

His blood was dried up on her thighs and hands and it scared her.

Just last night, he was holding her hand as she guided them to the ilu who awaited them. Just last night, they laid in each other's arms as they watched the stars. They had only began their courting and it had ended so soon.

The last conversation they had was a petty argument about keeping him safe. But now he's dead and will soon be sleeping in the arms of the Great Mother.

Kuvlub's Thoughts...
Please comment your thoughts and questions as I will be writing a final note containing my thoughts and answering any questions you may have about Ayatney, the bonds she has w/ the Sully family, or anything general. Just nothing inappropriate please!

Thank you for reading!