{~The Unnamed Feeling~} Lars Ulrich x reader

Six.

"Oh, Lars..."

He looked at me more, getting even more desperate looking. I let him into my room, closing and locking the door behind me. He sat on my bed, watching my walk over to him. I stood in front of him, in between his legs, his hands resting on my hips.

I absolutely despise Lars, but how could I ever pass up on such a beautiful man? I cupped his face with my hands, leaning down a bit to get closer to him.

"I thought you hated me.." he whispered, "I do Lars, I really hate you."

"You know you love me." that sentence, it effected me. I felt myself get needier for Lars, it's like he knows everything. Just everything.

"Shut up, Ulrich." I said, before fully pulling him in for the kiss.

I listened to his satisfied sigh escape his mouth as I pulled away, looking deep into his eyes. "You're so amazing" he sighed, smiling at me, "And you're annoying." I told him, kissing him again.

•••

"I GOT THE BOTTLE" Kirk shouted down the hallway. "Wanna get up now and play?" I asked Lars, untangling my hand from his hair. "Not really. But if it means I get to kiss you more, then yes" he said, looking up at me.

Lars and I had taken a nap together, I never expected this to happen. He was laying on top of me, his head on my chest. He got up and left my room, I followed him out a minute later.

I hate Lars, yet I feel attracted to him. And I kissed him..

Maybe I don't necessarily hate him, just dislike. But the fact I kissed him and cuddled with him, doesn't sound like something people who hate each other will do. Especially since I just switched up that quickly... god, I don't know how I feel right now.

I sat down in the circle, with Lars, Kirk and Jason.

"Okay who's going first? Newkid?" Kirk asked, with a grin on his face. "What why me? I don't think I even agreed to this." Jason sighed. "Ok then I'll go first." Kirk said. He spun the bottle, we all watched as it spun.

The bottle landed on Jason.

Kirks face was wiped with a shocked expression, "I.."

"C'mon man, you chose this path." I laughed at Kirk, he gave me an angry look in return. "Dude can't you guys just call some girls over? I know you guys know like hundreds." I asked.

Kirk smiled, "Pheeb you are a genius!" he rushed out of the room, running to the phone in the kitchen. We all listened to him talking, he called about 5 people. Who knows how many are going to show up though.

•••

James opened the door, "Why are there multiple random chics here?!" he shouted. "Oh, Pheebs had the great idea to invite some girls over. Hey maybe you can join us now!" Kirk smiled, getting up.

Kirk invited the 4 girls into the room, "Come on in. You can just sit somewhere in the circle."

"Dude I don't know if I'm gonna join. My sisters here, it'd be awkward. Plus I'm not in the mood to possibly kiss one of m-"

Lars groaned, "James shut up and just join if it lands on Pheebs you get another spin"

James sighed and sat next to Jason, Kirk smiled and handed one of the girls the bottle. Did I know any of them? No. Did the others except for Kirk know them? Probably not. But he seemed excited.

The girl with brown hair accepted the bottle, setting it on the floor. She spun it, watching it intently.

"What the hell?" Jason cried as it landed on him again. "What? Don't you want to kiss me?" she asked him, her voice pitched higher than it normally sounded. Jason shrugged and quickly kissed her, "Jason's turn!" Kirk said.

Jason spun the bottle, watching it spin for what felt like ages. "Damn Kirk, this bottle really wants us together" Jason chuckled, as the bottle landed on Kirk.

I was extremely bored of this already, but if I left Kirk would get all pissy about it.

We played a bit more, the bottle never landing on Lars or me. Jason's curse eventually lifted after kissing basically everyone in the circle.

"Pheebs you've never gotten to spin, so here" Jason handed me the bottle. I spun it, hoping for it to land on just no one somehow.

"Oh god what the fuck let me respin" I yelled as it almost landed on James. I took the bottle and spun it again, watching it slowly start to stop. It was either going to be a random chic, or Lars.

"Ooooo Pheebs has to kiss her sworn enemy" James laughed at me, as the bottle landed on Lars. I got up and went to Lars, pulling his face to mine for a short but long feeling kiss.

"Oh shit" James said

I looked at him confused, "What?" "W-well I didn't expect you to kiss him. I thought you were just gonna like, leave or some shit" he chuckled. "Well I'm gonna leave now. This was fun I guess" I got up leaving the room. As I headed to the kitchen, I could hear footsteps behind me, and I could tell it was Lars. "Hey" he said, coming up behind me. "What do you want" I asked, grabbing a glass from the cabinet. He put his arms up in defence "Jeeze Im sorry. You seem angry or something, what's wrong"

I sighed, still facing away from him. "I'm confused. When I'm confused I get annoyed. When I get annoyed I get angry. I'm a complicated person, Lars. I don't know if you can tell but I'm angry right now."  I filled the glass with water, taking slow sips out of it. "Okay well, what's angering you? Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked at him, he had a genuine concerned look on his face. "..yeah." I whispered. "Yes you want to talk about it?"

I nodded, he took me to my room and closed the door behind us, locking it to avoid anyone coming in. "Ok Phoebe, what's the matter?"

"What, are you my therapist? You sure talk like him." I chuckled at the way Lars spoke to me. "Do you want me to be your therapist?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" I laughed at him, he smiled at me. "Good to see you aren't angry" he said. "I'm still angry. I just liked the joke. Can we sit down or something?" I asked. He smiled at me again, "It's your room, you tell me what to do!"

I rolled my eyes at his response, I headed to my bed and lay down on it, Lars sat next to me. "Can I?" I asked, looking up at him. He nodded, I rested my head on his lap, placing my hand on his thigh. He stroked the top of my head as we lay together. "Let it out Pheebs. I'll just listen to you." he said, his voice calming me a bit.

"Lars I'm so confused. Just so confused about us. I don't understand what's wrong with me." I said. "Nothing is wrong with you."

"Something is, Lars. Something. I don't know what. But just one hour, I absolutely hate you. The next, I want to be in your arms. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's confusing me to the point I get angry and get angry at like, James. And I never seriously get mad at James, especially since what happened with our parents. I made sure I could be the best parental figure for him, and then I get mad, and he's upset. I don't like upsetting people, Lars. And I know I upset you often to the point I made myself believe I hated you, when I think I actually fell for you. But I just told myself 'No, you don't like this dude!' It's just so confusing. I hate it. I hate being constantly mad. I hate it Lars, I can't handle it anymore. It's just like sometimes, I feel like I don't even deserve to be here. I don't deserve to live. That's how I feel."

"Phoebe.."