{~The Unnamed Feeling~} Lars Ulrich x reader

Seven.

"I'm sorry Lars. I said too much" I sighed. "No. It's okay. I'm happy you trust me enough to tell me that. But either way, don't think you don't deserve to be alive. You do. James couldn't live without you. Neither could I." he soothed me, his voice calm and relaxing. "That's one of the reasons I'm still here. I couldn't imagine James alone. He's my brother, and my best friend."

"I think James would seriously be screwed without you. He managed to burn toast in the toaster." Lars said, earning a laugh from me. "Lars I appreciate you listening. I couldn't ever tell someone this, especially James. I couldn't imagine upsetting him with how I feel mentally"

knock knock

"Who dare comes here?" Lars shouted. "Jame." James said through the door. I don't know why, but James nicknamed himself Jame. Or Jaymz when he writes his name down. I don't know if it's cause he's stupid and can't spell or if he just likes it that way.

"What're you doin in there?" James asked. "We were having a conversation." Lars told him, "Wowww. Okay bye."

"Yeah he definitely needs you to simply live." Lars chuckled. "God, like none of you could live without me. I'm like your guys' mothers, you all haven't smelt bad since you met me. Except for you. You still smell European." I made fun of Lars a bit, "Oh come on both of you Hetfields say that!" Lars whined, "What! It's true! You just smell very European still!" I laughed at him. "God, screw you!"

"What time is it?" I asked Lars, "Around 11."

"I'm tired. I think I'm going to go to sleep." I told him. "Alright. Goodnight." he got off my bed, unlocking my door to leave, "Where are you going?" I asked him, "You said you were going to sleep so I was just going to leave"

"Can you stay?"

He locked the door again, getting back into my bed. He pulled me close to him, holding me. "Thank you Ulrich.." I sighed, resting my head against his chest.

Lar pov

I have no idea what's happening. Her suddenly not hating me is stressing me out. Is she doing this to joke around or something? Or does she actually like me. I have no idea man..

I love when she loves me, I hate when she hates me. I just need to embrace these couple of moments with her. I kissed the top of her head, stroking her back lightly. I felt her light breathing against my chest start to slow down and get more calm, so I knew she was asleep. I still wasn't tired, not after what happened. She's right here.. but should I maybe, look through that diary?

I shrugged, slightly reaching over opening her bedside table, the notebook sat perfectly in the centre. I took it out, looking at it above Phoebe. I opened a random page, this was an older one.

24/02/198–

Part of the year had been crossed off, that's weird.

dear "diary".. I hate him. But oh, I love that boy.

Aw.

25/02/198–

james is always bringing his little lars boyfriend over. lars bothers me. his stupid constant whining bothers me. the fact he's absolutely hot as hell is annoying too. shit, all these thoughts of mine are just all the same, aren't they?

"oh lars is so annoying but he's so hot" do i ever shut up or think of something else to say? i only ever repeat what i say.

Oh. I flipped back to the page before it,

"I hate that boy. But oh, I love him" I want those pretty words to fall from her pretty mouth. Her pretty, kissable mouth. "Lars.? What're you doing?" she looked up. Shit, if she notices I'm screwed. She looked behind her, looking at the notebook. "Lars is that.."

"I'm sorry Phoebe.." I sighed. I placed her notebook back in the bedside table, looking away from her. I didn't want to see her be angry at me.

"Why were you going through that? What'd you see?" she asked. She sat up, straddling my hips. "I just got curious and I couldn't sleep, I'm so-" my sentence was interrupted, from her. She rocked her hips lightly, grinding against me. Was she purposely doing this?

"Don't ever go through that again." she demanded from me. I nodded quickly, her on top of me made me want her so badly. I was forcefully holding my mouth shut to avoid making any sounds, as she started rocking her hips against me in a way that didn't feel accidental. "W-why're you doing this.." I managed out. "Doing what? This..?" she said, rocking her hips harder. "Hmm..-" I whimpered.

Phoebe pov

The sounds he was making, they were making me want this doofus. I hadn't meant to grind against him the first time, but listening to that stupid voice of his whimper.. boy did I want more. "Please.. oh god..-" he whimpered to me more. "Hmm? What do you want? Tell me." I whispered to him, "More.. my god.. give me more-"

"Look at you, begging me. How pathetic. You're a pathetic person, Lars." I told him. He grabbed a pillow, pushing his face into it.

"Take the pillow off" I told him, he threw it on the ground. Why is he obeying me so well? "P-please Phoebe.." he begged. "What? What do you want?" I asked him. He started to mess with his belt a bit, so I took it off his pants. I unzipped his jeans, was he going to sleep in these?

"What do you want me to do to you, Lars?" I asked him, watching as he struggled underneath me. "Do something..." he cried. I nodded, pulling his jeans down. The only piece of clothing in his lower body was his underwear now. "Keep going..." he sighed. I grinded against him a bit more, "Please.." he said.

I pulled his boxers down, he looked away from me in embarrassment. "What're you gonna do..?" he asked. "Oh I don't know.." I said, bringing my head down on him.