Ex~ w/ Neymar jr

Part 17~Drug

I woke up next to a warm body in a foreign room, I didn't even get to fully wake up before I realized. Before I remembered everything, what I did, what WE did. I stared at his chest, at his tattoos. I missed him, but I couldn't be with him. I wouldn't be with him.

I didn't know anything anymore, I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know who I wanted.

I slipped out of bed and put on my dress.

"God dammit Neymar." I mumbled as threw away my ripped panties.

"What I do this time?" He asked sitting up.

"Fuck." I said staring at him.

"Thought you could just run away again?"

"You know I have to go."

"No... I don't even think you know if you do. If you have to go."

"Neymar-"

"I don't think you have a clue what you should do."

How did he know? How did he know my exact thoughts, down to the fucking tee? I hadn't even told Ashanti about how I felt about him and he knew.

"I'm leaving." I said walking to the door. 

He pulled on his boxers and followed me. I felt his hand grab onto my wrist and pull me. He pressed my body against the door and pinned my hand down.

"Tell me I'm wrong Jayla."

"Tell me you love him and you love your life away from me so I can forget- or at least try to forget about you."

"You have no business telling me to tell you such personal things." I said, the anger rising in my voice.

His hand wrapped around my waist and he let go of my other hand, wrapping the hand that was pinning mine around my waist as well.

"Tell me and I'm nothing to you anymore."

I remembered the day I had first gone back to Matt, I remembered last night when I left the house. I hadn't told him I loved him since the day I saw Neymar again

"Tell me you love him."

"That's not your fucking business Neymar."

"Fine don't, but at least tell me what you feel for me."

"You know what I feel for you Neymar? What I feel is that you're a fucking drug , a drug anyone could get hooked on, but that's not your problem right? You just move on to your next victim. And you just had to choose me." I said, infected by tears, infected by him.

"I-"

"You what Neymar?"

My heart was almost beating out of my chest and tears were pooling in my eyes. I couldn't help but hear myself, to hear who I sounded like. I attacked him, I was acting like Matt. I couldn't figure out if I was disgusted, content, mad, sad, or all of it.

The tears finally poured out of my eyes, I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to feel anything anymore. And seeing him meant feeling something.

I ran out of the room, my heels in my hands, he followed close behind but not close enough to get into the elevator with me. I put on my heels and smoothed my hair. I wiped as much of my smudged mascara off as I could and tried my best to steady my voice.

I pulled out my phone and called Ashanti.

A: Where have you been? I haven't seen you since last night and you scared the shit out of me J! You scared the shit out of Matt too!

J: I- I fucked up really bad.

A: Where are you?

I walked out of the elevator and looked at the name of the hotel...

J: Some hotel called "The Peninsula Paris".

A: How the fuck did you end up in one of the best hotels in Paris?!

J: I'll tell you if you bring me to your apartment.

A: On my way.

I hung up and immediately got another call: Matt.

M: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?

J: I'm at Ashanti's.

M: YOU'RE LYING.

J: Matt, I'm not lying.

M: J...

J: Yeah?

M: I need you to be honest... were you with him.

I knew who he meant, and I knew the answer he wanted to hear. And I wasn't going to tell him what I did and who I did it with, I couldn't, not yet at least.

J: I wasn't with him Matt.

M: Really?

J: I was not with Neymar.

M: Alright, goodbye J.

J: Bye Matt.

I walked outside and waited for Ashanti's car, I got all kinds of dirty looks waiting. I felt someone walk out as well, but instead they stood next to me. And it just had to be him.

"Why can't you leave me alone?"

"We don't have to talk anymore I just wanna make sure your safe."

"I don't want my friend to see you, go back inside... please."

He went back in and sat down in the lobby. I didn't know why he bothered, but he did.

Ashanti's car pulled up and I got in, it was refreshing to see her. We were quiet the whole car ride before we got to her apartment. We walked inside and I flopped down on her couch, her sitting next to me.

"Talk to me boo."

"Remember when I told you about how I used to date Neymar and then we broke up and I met Matt and the whole I left thing happened last year?"

"Mhm."

"Well, I saw him at the gala and I went to a hotel with him andddd..."

"YOU- you fucked Neymar?"

I put my hands over my face, shame overflowing in my heart.

"And Matt hates him."

"Why?"

"Because I used to hate him, but then I went to his house and-"

"And you don't hate him but you don't know what you feel."

"Yes."

"That-"

"Fucking sucks."

"You're staying here for the day, get your mind off of all that."

"Thank you Ashanti."

"Of course babe, let matt know so he doesn't blow a blood vessel. I'll go get you something to eat."

I let out a chuckle and let Matt know, he was weirdly calm and I didn't care to question it. I just wanted to relax.

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I think I'm addicted to writing, but hey at least I'm not leaving for weeks and then coming back for a day. Lemme know what yall think of the story so far because I'm planning on making this a longer story(my first). Also thx sm to gaviisbaeeefor all the love and froggy_mxm for the love as well. I live for comments and your thoughts so PLEASEEEE talk to me so i know your there.

Love ya

Byeeeeee