(DISCONTINUED) Crushing on 2, Only Loving 1.. ♥️🖤~||||~🖤💜

2

Chapter two
Roller coaster

"An amusement park?"

"Yes, I have been wanting to take you here forever!" He looked at me excitedly "there is also a roller coaster I want to ride with you!" He said "I- don't think I want to ri-"
"Come on, let's go!" He said getting out of the car and coming my way to open the door for me. He seemed so excited that I didn't want to ruin the fun, so I got out of the car and proceeded to follow him inside. He really did want to go since he already had two tickets with him. He grabbed a hold of me saying "it's going to be really crowded, we're going to have to stick together." He smiled, "uhm, before we go to the roller coaster Can we go on other rides..?" I said trying to avoid going to the roller coaster. "Sorry Levi, but the other rides have to wait!"

The things I do for this guy... we both walked for a while until we saw the roller coaster, this would be my first time on a roller coaster. ' at least my first time is going to be with him..' I thought to myself and smiled, this thought made me feel better but the weird feeling began. I felt my stomach drop when I saw how fast the roller coaster went. I saw the excitement in his face and I couldn't bear but to feel bad for myself, I would have to face my fear of roller coasters.

*small time skip*

We were in the line waiting for it to be our turn and I could see many people's faces, most of them were excited faces. I felt the feeling of embarrassment as I saw 13 year olds with more excitement than me, a 22 year old. It took a very long time to finally arrive at the start where I would face my fear. I was glad it took a long time because it gave me time to think about what I was about to do and I would just have to accept it.

We were about to get on the roller coaster ride and I started to shake, fear had come upon me. "Jaxx, I don't want to-" I was cut off by him grabbing my arm and leading me to the first.Row. Seats. I wasn't shaking anymore but I was trembling, I wanted to scream. We walked towards the seats and Jaxx was the first one to sit down then he helped me get on. I was starting to feel scared, so scared that I felt like I wanted to cry. I felt the roller coaster move a bit and I almost screamed.

The ride started to move, it moved so fast I felt my stomach drop the times we went down. I couldn't enjoy it whatsoever. I held on to Jaxx's arm the whole ride with my eyes closed.

'I hate this...'

It was over.. I stood up and waited for Jaxx to stand up as well, I could barely keep myself from falling. It was as if the whole world was spinning as if I was the only one who could feel it. "Jaxx, Can we go.."

"What? We just got here, why?" He asked as we left the roller coaster. I started feeling discomfort. I was about to tell him why when I saw 4 familiar faces coming towards us. My first instinct was to run, I grabbed on to Jaxx's hand and ran with him until we were out of the amusement park. We stopped at a small park and we caught our breath, "Levi, what was that about?!" He said, still trying to breathe normally " we don't want them to think we ditched them to go somewhere else without them, right?" I laughed.

"Wait." He paused "Alex and the rest were there?!" He added 

"Yes."

"Oh, well no I suppose not. We would be dead if they found out we ditched them haha!" He said, answering my previous question. We continued to walk for a bit until we found a little hill that we sat on. The next few minutes were just us talking but then he brought up a question I didn't answer before, "you were acting really weird over at the amusement park, why's that?" He asked. "Oh, It was my first time riding a roller coaster so I kinda felt uncomfortable.." I looked at him while saying that and I could see that he was feeling guilty, I didn't say anything but it made me feel bad. "Oh, Levi... why didn't you tell me? You know if I knew I would've never told you to get on the ride with me." He replied, "I tried but you just seemed so excited so I didn't want to ruin the fun..." I said looking down at the grass then looking up at the sky that was darkening by the second. I started feeling those empty emotions again as I looked at my shoes.

"Since we came back from Texas everything went back to normal and everyone was happy, except me. And I don't know why, everything just seems off. The thoughts in my head are blank and I can barely concentrate on the things I like. I am starting to think that there is something wrong with me."
I said trying my best not to tear up in front of Jaxx. "Oh, I don't know what to say.. I-" jaxx tried to say. "You don't have to say anything.." wiping tears that were forming in my eyes, "But I want to say something! I don't want you to feel this way, I want you and everyone else I know to be happy..." said Jaxx.

"Thank you," I didn't really know what else to say except for thank you. But I think it was enough because I got Jaxx to smile. His smile was soft and calming, almost soothing, his smile made me feel a lot better but still couldn't fill the emptiness I felt. We stayed for a while watching the sun set and just thinking of him made my heart beat faster, I smiled. But I didn't know if he liked me back so it was best for me to keep quiet.

"Hey, let's get back home, we have to get there before anyone else does." Jaxx said standing up and lending me a hand to help me get up, I grabbed his hand and stood up and we started walking back to the amusement park's parking lot that was semi empty we noticed that Alex's car was close to ours we looked at each other, smiled and sighed since she and the rest were still here so we still had time to go back.

Jaxx got in the car first and then I did too. I shut the car door and leaned my head on the car window. Such a tiring day I wish all days were like this, fun.