Die Young, Dream On

Meaning of Life

You only live once.
You only have so much to give.
So use your time

wisely.

Long ago. That's what someone who is now a faded memory used to say to me.

What's the point in so much power?
Why can't you just be happy?
What is your goal for

living?

After becoming a demon, they pleaded with these questions.

What was the point? I caught myself slipping in these questions in my head.

It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing does. I'm simply just living, and they are long gone now.

But still.

Why is it that you manage to slip in my mind.

I rest my hand on my forehead, reaching downward, I started rubbing my eyes with my fingers.
Irritation.

I glance up from where I am sitting, and take a good look around the room.

Books piled on top of one another, papers scattered across the room, wine on the table.
Everything's just disorganized.
This isn't like me at all.

I call in a demon to fix the situation, giving me time to set these feelings in place.

Before I leave, I grab some notes I've been working on for my one and only

Tanjiro Kamado.

"Where to begin, where to begin." I blurted while rubbing the pen against my cheek. I jotted down some notes to another paper in case I wanna use them in this note for him.

I need ideas, I thought. Something to keep him going.

That's when it hit me.

My life story.

By the time he gets here, by the time he fights all those demons. He'll get this, and everything will be over. He'll be dead and so will everyone else. When he finishes this story, I will kill him personally myself.

I run my hand through my hair again, feeling the cold tips of my fingers scratching against my skin.

Running out of time, running out of time..

I can't get emotional right now, I am not going to turn pathetic!

About 15 minutes later, the demon returns with the news of being finished. I walk back into my reorganized office and get back to work. I then noticed my glass that was full of wine was refilled but in another clean glass.
I take a sip, and get back to work.

About another hour of work, I start reading books for information about The Blue Spider Lilly, which of course, nothing useful. Pointless, I thought.

I threw the book across the room while grabbing another, also reaching for my wine. I felt my face turn red due to frustration,

Come on, there has to be something hidden in these books..!

More useless hours turned into days, and days turned into months of nothing fucking important and useful for me.

I need to conquer the sun, I thought, I need to withstand it no matter whatever it takes!

That small gleaming hope resonated inside my empty soul, which took me by surprise. That feeling never appeared within me before, so why now?

"Douma," I called sharply, which he appeared less than a second. "Why, yes, Master?" He said in his cheery tone, which I despise. "Any news from Akaza and Kokushibo?"
"Oh, no, haven't heard anything about that, sir. You see, no one likes me-"
"I can see why,"

I made sure he found out something and to return when he did. But knowing him he'd take his sweet little time and screw around. So I took matters into my own hands. I used one of my abilities to see whatever my upper moons see, and to my luck, Kokushibo found something important.

I then used my powers to talk to him,

Find him now. And about a second later he responds.

Yes, Master Muzan.