𝙴𝚌𝚕𝚒𝚙𝚜𝚎𝚍

Chapter Eight

Father took Mira and Katie back out to finish their hunt and to probably clear his mind. Alongside being angry at the whole situation in general, he had to have been extremely upset with me. And, with how everything had turned out, I did not blame him.

Their absence left Luci and me to try to occupy our raging minds and calm our own shattered nerves in an agonizingly silent house. Something that had been no easy feat, especially with everything I had running through my mind at the time.

I had lost my appetite, so having dinner was out of the question, and had no will to bathe. Though, I knew taking a bath was probably the most soothing thing I could have done at the time.

But instead, I just continued to sit around in my dirty bloodstained dress, with muck filled wounds that were most likely going to fester. Just the thought of trying to clean and dress them was far too much for me, let alone cleaning and dressing myself afterward.

I absentmindedly found my way up to my room, after having remained in the drawing room for almost an hour. How I had made it up there was a feat in itself, because I had been so absorbed in mentally going over everything that had happened since I had woken up that morning. Wondering if there was anything I could have possibly done differently, anything I could have said differently to have prevented such an awful turn of events. But nothing really had come to mind other than not bumping into Alison and perhaps making Luci go look for Katie instead of myself.

Perhaps, if my family had treated me more like a mutt instead of like a wolf, I would not have grown up with such a strong attitude. One that seemingly got me into more trouble than it was worth.

However, blaming them for treating me with dignity and as if my life was worth something, would have never crossed my mind. Because there was nothing wrong with treating others as equals and showing them respect regardless of who and what they were.

I slowly climbed into bed, doing my best not to hit my elbow on anything, as the aches in my body finally made themselves known. Then the overwhelming thought of what I was going to experience the next morning stopped me in my tracks. I had never been whipped before, so I did not know how bad it was going to hurt, but Luci's sorrow-soaked voice rang in my ears as I repeated her warning in my mind.

"I will have to feel everything alone, and for weeks after as well." My eyes started to feel wet, "Goddess. . . what have I done?"

I pulled back the covers, wanting to do nothing more than to crawl under them and hide from the world, when something caught my attention.

My bed sheets were absolutely filthy from when I had laid in them earlier, "Of course." I thought, "Just another thing for me to have to do." I sighed, then laid down anyway, doing my best to ignore the dirt.

Unlike my siblings and other lord's daughters, I did not have the servants do everything for me. I washed my own dresses and bed linens, I bathed and dressed myself as much as I could on my own, and even went out of my way to help with chores around the house.

Because unlike my sisters and those other girls, I was a mutt who could have been forced into servitude at any moment. All it took was for something to happen to father and then I was out of a home. The other three could have lived with one of father's friends, but none of those folks would have accepted a mutt into their home unless it was to work.

Of course, my sisters would be opposed to living anywhere I could not, but that would have left them homeless as well. And I would have never allowed that.

Yet, never before had I regretted my stubborn independence as much as I had in that moment. Because right then and there, I wanted someone to help. Someone to come in and do everything for me, for I did not have the energy or mental capacity to do it myself.