A.A.M.

To: A

To the one whom my heart has chosen to stick with for the last eighteen months:

I had a fun roller coaster experience with you—even if you did not know it. Such a bummer that you will never know anything about what I felt for you. I apologize for not having enough courage to admit my feelings for you, but I want you to know that everything was genuine.

The way my eyes squint every time you do something adorable that sometimes, you are not even aware. The way my lips automatically form a smile every single time your back becomes visible. The way my heart literally jumps out of happiness every time I see you smile.

I hope I was brave enough to tell you this in person, but I don't. So I am right here in my comfort zone, writing the things I really hope you were able to know.

Oh, and I also got the price of being a wimp: It is the constant wondering of what could have been if only one thing was different—If only I was able to tell you about everything.

You were such a bitter-sweet experience.

But if you ask me if I'd do it again...I would. I would repeat everything from the beginning.

I would go through every stage of pain. I would still gladly defend my feelings for you from my friends, my cousins, my siblings, and my aunt. I would write every poem for you again.

I'd do everything again even if I knew how it would end... At least for me.

But now, I'd like to free myself from you.

I'd like to meet new people. I want to learn about them. I want to write about other people. I'd like to experience every single thing that you made me experience but this time, with other people. I want to love, and be loved back.

I promise that this time, I will be brave.

Thank you for all of the pain that turned out to be great lessons. Thank you for making me feel the happiest. Thank you for being the subject of my poems, I was able to put lovely meanings to such simple words like "person", and "yellow".

Thank you for letting me know how to love someone... In a painful yet beautiful way.

You will always have a spot in my heart.

You will always be my person, my yellow.