ROCKSTAR LIFESTYLE {COMPLETED}

9

REDEMPTION

Onika
NY
August 13th

"Honey you know eventually you're going to have to talk to her. Nine months will pass by and that press outside your building will not let up. They're going to expect a baby."

I took the three layers of the chocolate cake out of the oven, listening to Robyn and Solana practically argue with one another.

I had been steadfast in my decision. They had not. That was on them, not me.

"I'm not going to have to do anything. The press is not my problem. I am not the celebrity. They're going to expect a baby from that whore, and that whore will handle the press the way she knows how."

"You sound mad Nic," Robyn said.

"I don't care."

"You have to talk to her," Solana begged me.

"I don't. I have said plenty that if she wants to, she will. It's been weeks and instead of being an adult, I have seen her all over Twitter, in and out of clubs, in and out of whores so no I don't have to speak to her."

Solana sighed, "She's just acting out."

"Okay?"

"She wants you to come to her."

In this trimester of my pregnancy, I was emotional. Way too emotional, and that caused her to hurt me. Beyonce left me all alone, in a cold, unfamiliar doctor's office by myself where everybody knew me and I knew no one. I shared my fears with her and she made them come true. She hurt me, and I had never done well with hurt. I wouldn't give her the opportunity to hurt me again, I wouldn't even give her the chance to speak to me again.

I was done. I told her that I wasn't Robyn or Solana, and she didn't believe me. That was on her.

"I would rather eat jeans with peanut butter before I go to her. Fuck her."

I turned the oven off then went to take a seat on my couch.

"We wanna be here for you regardless of her faults. Being alone in your first pregnancy is not something anyone should have to go through."

"I am not alone. I have people. They may not be her people, but I have people."

"We just want you to have everybody."

"Y'all I am okay. I'm not a victim. I know what I did. Her and I barely know each other the way y'all barely knew her when y'all were pregnant. I didn't make a mistake, I made a decision that will be better for my child. I'm not gonna beg her to take care of her responsibilities, I'll just take the responsibility from her. I'm not her damn mama."

They wanted to be my therapists from the moment they found out what happened. I got calls on calls from them, wanting be to be sad about the situation but that just wasn't the case. I didn't care much. She was just another weight lifted off of my shoulders.

"I'll call y'all later, alright?"

The moment I hung up the phone, my door was opening and in walked my parents, Daddy tossing my key onto the island then shutting the door behind him. He sniffed around before following Mama into the living room where I was.

Mama sat beside me. Daddy walked past me then sat down next to me too.

I was glad he put my key back. The only reason they even had it in the first place was because they were in town, babying me before their baby popped out a baby.

Mama pulled my head over and I laid in her lap. I kicked my feet up in my daddy's lap and shut my eyes.

"We're so proud of you Onika."