ROCKSTAR LIFESTYLE {COMPLETED}

11

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Beyoncé
NY
August 22nd

"Man she got me sitting in her damn dining room, writing like I'm in detention or some shit."

I complained to Chris over the phone, but I was on the tenth page, back and forth, my wrist killing me as I wrote 'I will never disrespect Onika Maraj again'.

I had been at this shit for hours and I asked her when I could stop, but all she told me was 'when I say you're done is when you're done'. I hope she didn't think this was how she was going to be disciplining my child.

I looked over my shoulder to see if she was coming but the hall was empty and her door was shut.

"You're really letting her put you down like that?"

"It's for my kid."

"You got other kids, what about them?"

"Don't worry about it."

I looked back again, saw the door opening, and ended the call. I sat on my phone and wrote faster so it looked like I had been doing more.

She ignored me, passing me so she could get to the kitchen. She distracted me. I dropped my pen and watched her walk, my eyes all over her ass. When she bent over in the fridge, I was staring with a dry ass mouth.

There was no way she needed to be blessed like that and she still wouldn't give me none.

"I can feel when somebody's staring at my ass. Stop staring at my ass Beyoncé. That's five more pages for disrespect," She came out of the fridge and she had the last of the chocolate cake she had baked.

I didn't even know she could bake, but since I had been here, she baked herself crazy. I asked her why and she told me her dad taught her. She said it kept her calm when she was feeling anxious. It was wild. She had me in this dining room and I was watching. She was like a scientist in there, paid me no attention. Then when I asked her ass for some, she said no.

I mean damn. The girl had me locked up in her apartment and I couldn't even have baked goods. She was acting so cruel and cold. But it was cool. She was just scared, and she had that right, but I was here now. I was just waiting to get out of the doghouse. When I did, I was gonna handle her and that bad ass attitude the best way I knew how.

She walked over, coming close to look at my paper. With her free hand, she raked her nails up and down my arm. My dick was standing up just feeling her touch me. I was hawking her down now, scooting closer to her in my chair.

"Stop. Right now."

"You're the one rubbing on me."

"It's a habit."

It wasn't a damn habit. She had caressed me the same way in the club, stared at me the same way in the club.

"How much do you have left?"

"You tell me."

She ran her hand to the nape of my neck, "You can be done."

I pushed the papers to the middle of the table and looked up at her, trying not to squirm as she caressed my neck.

I didn't want to make the move, out of disrespect and all that, but I knew she wasn't going to. She was too prideful. Something about not rewarding me for my bad decision making or whatever she was pushing to Solana.

"I've been here for a week."

"Don't remind me baby, we were doing so good."

"Don't call me that, not when you're sitting here, caressing me like some genie in a bottle or something."

She flashed her pretty smile and I was forgetting our whole timeline. I didn't have anything against her, if anything it was the other way around. I would break her off again if she asked me to. And I knew she wanted me to.

"You know I would never turn you down."

"You wouldn't turn anybody down. I'm not that special."

"Yes you are."

She wouldn't admit it but she liked me. That's what got us here in the first place.

She rolled her eyes but she was still smiling. I knew how pregnancy made these women. It was like they stepped in my shoes for nine months. Neither of my baby mamas would ever tell anybody but I was still knocking them down like bowling pins when they were pregnant. Onika wasn't that different.

She stepped in closer and set her cake down, "You've been really good this week."

"I try."

"I want you to be really good for more than just this week. Of course you're going to be good under surveillance, but you really disappointed me when you didn't come to our appointment. I don't need you here but it would be nice if you kept your promises."

"Keep telling me you don't need me and maybe you'll actually believe it."

"I don't need you. Actually. I don't."

"But it would hurt not to have me by your side right? That's why I'm here."

"You're here because you were going to sleep in my hallway if I didn't let you in."

"Stop acting so tough. If we're going to have a baby together, you can be vulnerable with me."

She just kept rubbing my neck, "I don't trust you. It's hard to build trust back when it's broken. You can say you want to be here but you've said that before. How can I even be sure?"

"My actions. You can let my actions show you."

"You said that last time and look where we are."

I wanted to tell her that it wasn't like last time, that the seven days I'd spent here kissing her ass and learning all things baby had to mean something. She couldn't just disregard everything I was doing because I lied before. I apologized for that, and I was here for that reason.

"If you have no faith in me, what are we doing?"

"You shouldn't need me to have faith in you to want to be better for your children. It's not about me. I told you I'm not your mama."

I reached for her hand, holding her with both of mine, "Somebody has to let their guard down. I know it's gonna have to be me. I don't mind that. I respect you and I know you won't take my shit, but I need you to be by my side. Or at least in my corner. I can't fight with you every chance we get because you still hold this grudge against me."

She was softening up with each word I said. She didn't need me but I needed her. If I was going to be better, I needed her to hold my hand through it. I needed her to be my partner.

We were one in the same. We had never done this. Been parents. Actually.

"I can be your rock if you let me, and I need you to be mine."

"I'm not your mama."

"I know. I'm not asking you to be nobody else's mama. I'm asking you to learn it with me. One more chance, and I won't mess it up. Let's start over, on an even playing field. I won't hold anything against if you agree to do the same. We could make a real good team."

She only looked at me, the wheels in her head spinning. Hopefully in my favor.

After a few seconds, she held her hand out to me. I put my hand in hers, stood up, and let her guide me to her bedroom.

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