ROCKSTAR LIFESTYLE {COMPLETED}

28

NOSTALGIA PT. TWO

Onika
NY
July 1st

Beyonce came into the dining room from the kitchen, carrying two plates. Right behind her, King and Symere did the exact same thing, down to her walk. I rubbed Naomi's belly as she laid back against me.

Beyonce sat my plate down in front of me, kissed me on top of my head, and followed the boys to their table. She took time at their table, mothering the way mothers do, making sure their food was edible for them.

Just like me, everyone had their eyes on Beyonce. I hoped they could see the change in her. The last time they looked her up, all of her skeletons were out in the open and she was nowhere near to defend herself. But she's here now, and it was obvious that she had changed for the better.

When she was finished, she took a seat beside me. She kissed my cheek then kissed Naomi's.

"Sorry," She smiled all nervous the way she smiled at the doctor's, feeling guilty. I knew that look, but she would be okay.

"Thank y'all for having me. I appreciate the two of you opening up your home to me."

"Anyone beside our daughter is welcome in our home."

That segway wasn't even subtle.

Beyonce said, "Thank y'all for making her who she is. I do love her to death."

"Do we have to get food in ourselves before we get to grilling you?" Daddy asked.

Beyonce took Naomi from me and Naomi rested back against her stomach. "I came prepared to answer all the questions you have for me."

"All?" Ocean came into the dining room with Owen behind her. He pulled out a chair for her and they both took a seat.

"I'll answer every question."

"Okay. When Onika told us about you, we looked you up of course, and we didn't really like what we saw. Two other women pregnant by you that you don't give a damn about."

"Mama, reel it in."

"She's okay," Beyonce placed her hand on top of mine, "My boys are the results of those pregnancies."

"They are beautiful. The concern we have is the arguing that we saw on the internet. There must be some truth to that stuff. I don't like to judge people without hearing the story straight from their mouth."

She cleared her throat, and I could tell she was nervous all over again. I had faith in her though, and most importantly, she had gained faith in herself. She could handle the heat.

"The short way to tell y'all is, I was a deadbeat."

Everybody went silent, and it felt like someone had sucked the air right out of the room.

"I was into my life so heavily, partying and sleeping around and moving fast. Having a kid or two didn't fit into who I was. I just pretended they weren't there. Then Onika got pregnant, and I won't say it changed me 'cause it didn't."

"Oh?"

I never wanted to disconnect from her ass so bad.

"Yeah. I told her I would be there and I wasn't. She told me that she wasn't going to be the one to chase me down to raise my kid, and I didn't take her seriously. But the two of you raised a very serious daughter. She didn't need me there, and she didn't hesitate to let me know that. I missed our first appointment and she kicked me to the curb."

"And how are y'all right here? Her stubborn ass would've never talked to you again so I know she didn't come to you."

I kicked Ocean under the table. The bitch talked too much.

"I came to her. My mama cussed me out and my best friend too. I was wrong, and I knew that but she kept pushing me away. What was I supposed to do? Keep rushing at her, and she doesn't even want me there? I didn't see a point, but I got some hard truths because I gave up."

I mumbled, "Selfish, disr—"

"May I tell my own story please?"

"Go ahead."

"That's how we met. Those hard truths had me sitting outside her door, begging her to just open it. I was selfish and to be honest, I didn't care that she was pregnant. To me, at the time, she was just another woman trying to take my fun away from me."

She took her hand from me, "Honestly, even after she let me in, I was still feeling selfish. I was just doing it because everybody was on my back, yelling at me and shit. Shoot, my bad. Being around your daughter and learning from her, day in and day out, she changed my way of thinking. She changed my way of living. Your daughter taught me that telling myself no doesn't always equate to punishment. She taught me that I can still live a fulfilling life without being greedy."

Wow.

I was growing hot in the face.

I scooted my chair closer to hers, so damn proud that my smile was hurting my face.

"That was beautiful Beyonce."

She smiled, "Y'all got more questions?"

"Of course."

"I'm an open book."

"Well, obviously you keep getting women pregnant and I can only assume you were born that way," My mama was talking all slow, not knowing how to ask. "Not to be rude," She finished.

Beyonce held onto my hand underneath the table. She squeezed my hand and I could see her smiling in my peripheral vision. This was her favorite topic to talk about anyway.

"It's okay. I get asked stuff like this all the time, practically every damn day. I never had surgeries or nothing like that. This has been me since the day I was born. I can't even lie to y'all, I'm not gonna pretend to have a problem with it. I slang it anywhere I can."

I'd never kicked somebody so damn fast.

She sucked her teeth, "Sorry, I used to slang it everywhere I could."

"Oh my God," I mumbled under my breath and looked away from everybody. I promised them all that the other would be good, and all three of them were acting out.

"So you don't be wrapping it up? I mean you got three baby mamas."

"Owen if you don't shut the hell up."

"I'm just saying."

Ocean spoke up too, "That's true. My sister didn't give birth to those beautiful boys."

I looked back at the boys and waved, but they were stuffing their faces.

"I try to be careful, but it doesn't always work out."

"Obviously," I mumbled.

"Is that something you still do?" My daddy sat up, obviously curious, "I don't know how you kids do it now. It feels like there's always something new and I don't wanna be insensitive."

I was smiling from ear to ear. He was trying so hard.

The air was tense, but that was good. They were connecting and showing their passion. It boiled down to love, and they were going to get along very well.

"I was wild, but I was single then. I'm in a relationship now, with your daughter, and that's all I need."

"Daddy did you really just ask her if she had baby mamas on retainer?"

We all went quiet before we shared a laugh, and my parents went to stuff their faces. They were done grilling her, for now. Honestly, they went a lot easier on her than I expected, and she handed it all so well.

I rested my head against her arm, rubbing her until she looked at me. "You did great. I am so proud of you."

"I love you."

I felt like I was living in the twilight zone. If someone told me a year ago that this is where we would be, I would've probably cussed them out. But this is where we were, and I was content with it.

I didn't need Beyonce to be perfect. That was an impossible standard. I just needed her to try.

Ocean was looking my way, giving her approval silently.

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