Cheating On You (Part 3)- 😢🤬🥵⚠️ (N.R & S.R)

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Warnings: Mention of Nonconsensual/Reluctance Sex & Death
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Cheating On You by Charlie Puth- An explanation of inner emotions belonging to someone who has not moved on from a recently ended relationship.

Natasha's POV
It started with a kiss on your Mama's couch
2012 was nothing serious
I know we caught the feels, it got really real
Too good to be true, I guess I thought you was, yeah

It started with a kiss on your Mama's couch in her room at the compound. Where I found you sad and drunk because Steve left you alone at the party as he continued partying and flirting with people. It was meant to be nothing serious; we were both drunk. We're just lying to ourselves. That kiss meant the world to us. So far, it was the most natural thing we had ever felt. But we both thought it was too good to be true.

Why did I run away, run away, run away?
Oh, your love was everything, everything, everything
I know it's gettin' late, gettin' late, gettin' late
But can I still be on my way, on my way? Yeah

After everything that happened between us, I chose to walk away to protect my heart. I thought it was the right move, which seemed right then. But I realized I wasn't living anymore. I was surviving each day. Being around you in any form was everything to me. Especially when I knew you felt the same for me. You didn't have enough courage to leave the man making your life so miserable because you're afraid of disappointing your father. I understand. I really do.

Steve was the only relationship your father approved of. But maybe you and he didn't realize that you were in the wrong relationship all this time. It should be me. I knew I was late. I should have made my move earlier before Steve started making his move, before you started falling for his facade charms, before you got hurt. Everything could have been avoided. But can I still be on my way? Can I still make things right after all this time?

I know I said goodbye and baby, you said it too
But when I touch her I feel like I'm cheating on you
I thought that I'd be better when I found someone new
But when I touch her I feel like I'm cheating on you

I was the one who said goodbye first, and you said it too. So I tried moving on during the year-long mission. Maria was with me at every step. She listened to me when I rambled on about how much I miss you, how much I worry about you, and how much I love you. She lends me her shoulder to cry when we watch a movie that reminds me of you. When I woke up from my nightmare, she hugged me to sleep, and you were not there.

Eventually, we grew closer. Treading between the line of friends and lovers. We kissed and slept together, but why does it feel like I'm cheating on you? With Maria, it wrong feels wrong but right at the same time. Though it was wrong, everything felt right when I was with you. I can't decide which is the worst. I thought I'd feel better when I found someone new. But I can't shake the nagging feeling that I was cheating on you. It doesn't sit right with me when I'm with Maria.

I bounced with excitement or anxiety when I knew my mission was ending. I'm not sure. I knew I was excited to see you but anxious, not knowing how to act around you. Especially when I have Maria with me. We didn't define what was going on with us. We do whatever feels comfortable. Is this what a relationship should feel like? Comfortable? But why do I still find myself thinking of you? I wished it was you that I was with doing all the things I was doing with Maria.

Baby now, oh-oh-oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Cheating on you
Baby now, oh-oh-oh
But when I touch her I feel like I'm cheating on you

My heartbeat unknowingly sped up when I spotted your bright blonde hair at the landing platform among our teammates. I turned to Maria. Eyes widened in panic. I felt myself shaking. The whole world was spinning, and I couldn't breathe. I had a panic attack. As the door slowly opened, Maria tried everything to calm me down, but nothing was working, so did the only thing she thought of. She kissed me. I stopped breathing for a second, surprised by the kiss.

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