LIVING | 하루토

12 - Breakfast with Watanabe

YENA'S POV:

i took in his scent once more before i slowly let go. his eyes looked into mine, slick with wanton for a second longer.

i don't know what came over me to initate that embrace, but i did. my heart swelled for the pain and loneliness he had to endure all those years; and somehow, i felt all his emotions during those years in my own heart. i felt his feelings engulf me and before i knew it, i was embracing him like there was no tomorrow.

as if he had been someone i've known forever.

and that's when reality finally hit me. i couldn't be doing this when i know - of all people - that i don't belong here. i can't be growing attached to the very people father has always taught me to be wary of.
i was brought up in the Land of Cepil and I am a citizen of the Land of Cepil in which under no circumstance, do we come into any interaction with the Land of Alin. father's voice echoed in my head as guilt started to well inside me.

watanabe haruto was my arch nemesis whether i liked it or not.

whether we liked it or not... because that's how it's always been.

"nothing shall break the golden rule." father's voice echoed in my head again, as if haunting me as haruto stood right before my eyes. his brown & green eyes shining with the flame.

it's written in the books and it's been set in stone. this shouldn't and musn't happen.

i should bid goodbye.

i must.

"haruto.." i sighed heavily, finally detaching my eyes off of his. i already felt tears welling up in my eyes. it didn't have to be this difficult.

he placed his large hand on mine, cupping it ever so gently as butterflies swarmed my stomach.

the cold person i first met had melted his walls.

"this was a mistake," my voice thick with emotion as i bit my lip, forcing myself not to burst into tears. i slowly pulled my hand away from his, afraid to fall even deeper the longer if i stayed. his eyes followed every movement of mine, as if trying to hold onto every single detail of me before i never see him again and we pretend like all of this never happened.

"acoff please," he called out. his voice soft and almost desperate. i had shoved what few things i had into the small crossbody bag i brought with me from his hut.

"stay." his voice thick with despair. his head was facing down, almost like he was just a huge puppy.

i shook my head, my heart feeling heavy. as much as i didn't want to, i had to.

"we can't, haruto." i gulped, swallowing my emotions as i sniffled ever so slightly; trying to hide the fact that this hurts me as much it does for him.

the silence in the room was suffocating before he finally spoke.

"if you wish to leave, at least do it when the sun has risen. it's too dangerous out now," his deep voice emerged, this time in a more serious tone as if giving instructions. the softness in his voice before had faded.

torn, my heart felt. devstated to have to leave this beautiful world behind, but i knew i had to stay true to who i am and where i come from.

Cepil is my identity.

i kept chanting those words to myself, trying to drown out any of the opposing thoughts and feelings i had felt while being in Alin. i was so desperately trying to get myself to believe it; it became almost hypnotic.