all for us, ethan landry

four.

lydia started walking over. "jesus, carpenter. you punched gale weathers?" mindy laughed. "what?" tara's eyes widened. "lydia! sit down." lydia sat in between chad and ethan. ethan waved, she smiled at him. "what were you talking about? like, about my mom.." lydia was curious. "mom?" ethan asked. "gale weathers is her mom, ethan." anika blinked. "ohh." he whispered. "long story short, tara punched your mom in the face." everyone was silent, tara was upset at mindy for telling lydia. "good, she fucking deserves it." lydia shook her head.

"okay nerds," mindy clapped to get the groups attention. "listen up!" she said. "as terrifying as this all is, i'm actually glad i get to redeem myself for not.. calling the killers last time." cleared her throat and inhaled. lydia's eyes went to chad. "are you taking notes?" she asked, smiling. "indeed i am, dia." he patted her back. "okay, the way i see it.. someone is out to make a sequel to the requel." mindy announced. lydia looked at her fingernails. anika raised her hand. "um.. what's a requel?" she asked. "you're beautiful, sweetie." anika smiled. "but let's save questions for the end." mindy said. "stab 1 took place in woodsboro." sam said. "stab 2 took place in college.." she added. lydia looked at tara and leaned on ethan. "so, do we think that the killer is trying to copy the movies?" tara asked. "that is one possibility." mindy pointed at tara. "heroes now in college, check." mindy continued. "suspicious new characters brought in to round out the suspect list and or body count" she pointed at quinn, anika, and ethan. "check, check and check." ethan furrowed his eyebrows at her. "i don't like this." ethan muttered. "uh, mindy-" mindy stopped lydia. "what'd i say about questions?" lydia crossed her arms, her and ethan shared a look. "but it can't just be about stab 2." mindy said. "why not?" tara asked with a confused look. "it would make sense.. if this were just a sequel." she pointed. "but we're not in a sequel, because nobody just makes sequels anymore!" everyone was confused at this point, nothing that mindy was saying made sense to lydia. probably because she wasn't a horror geek! they all stared at her blankly except chad, who was trying to take notes. everyone was silent. "we're in a franchise!" mindy declared "and there are certain rules to a continuing franchise." mindy explained. anika looked down. "i had a feeling." sam also looked down. "rule 1! everything is bigger than last time. bigger budget, bigger cast, bigger body count, longer chases, shootouts, beheadings.. you gotta top what came before to keep people coming back."

"beheadings?.." chad asked. "beheadings." mindy assured, pointing at him. "rule 2!" she announced. "whatever happened last time, expect the opposite." samantha looked at tara and lydia. lydia sighed, ethan put his arm around her waist. "franchises only survive by subverting expectations," she explained. "if the killers last time were whiny, snowflake film nerds with letterboxd accounts instead of personalities, you can bet the opposite will be true here." mindy looked at everyone.

"and rule 3, no one is safe." was anyone ever safe? lydia thought and sighed. "legacy characters? cannon fodder at this point." lydia thought about everyone that went through this before her. sidney, kirby, even her mother who she was scared the most for. she just hoped gale would end up okay after all of this, even though gale never seemed to give a shit about her. "usually brought back, only to be killed off in some cheap bid for nostalgia." mindy added. "it's not looking to good for gale and kirby.." mindy looked at lydia. lydia narrowed her eyes, she thought mindy was trying to make her mad or something "ohh and thats not even the worst part!" she said.

"this is the part where she tells us the worst part." chad pointed to tara and back to mindy. "the worst part is, franchises are just continuing episodic installments designed to boost an ip." lydia gave her a what? look. mindy pointed at lydia. "which means, main characters are completely expendable now too." mindy looked at sam, tara and lydia and started listing off main characters, final girls.. whatever. "..i mean, even luke skywalker all died so their franchises could live on!" mindy declared. "that means it's not just the friend group.. any of us could go, at any time. especially sam, tara and lydia." she gave them a sad look. the three survivors looked at each other. "wait, wait, wait.. any of us? am.. am i in the friend group? am i like one of the targets? am-" ethan stared at the ground, lydia put her hand on his thigh trying to make him less scared. "am i gonna die a virgin?" everyone stared at him, giving him weird looks. lydia covered her face.

"that was.. a weird overshare." mindy said. "but that brings us to our current suspects," he walked up to lydia's boyfriend. "ethan! the shy dorky guy who no one suspects, because he's so shy and dorky." lydia stared at tara, tara shrugged and mouthed sorry! lydia shook her head and looked at mindy. she felt like she could kill her. "okay wait why am i on the suspect list? because im randomly chad's roommate?" mindy nodded. "also lydia's boyfriend," she sighed. "never trust the love interest." mindy coughed, "and roommate lotteries can be juked, you could've fixed it to get next to us." she narrowed her eyes, staring at ethan. ethan rolled his eyes and looked at his girlfriend, who was giving mindy a death stare.

"quinn!" she gave a fake smile, starting to walk over to her. "the slutty roommate, a horror movie classic." mindy said. "sex positive, but.. thank you?" quinn was confused. "mhm... um, how did you come to live with lydia, sam and tara?" she questioned. "i answered their ad online." sam nodded and looked back at mindy. "okay, say no more you've already implicated yourself enough." quinn looked at her roommates. "it was an anonymous ad mindy." tara explained. "and you know we vetted her!" tara tried defending their roommate. "and her dads a cop." lydia added, tara nodded. "that makes it more likely that she's the killer, because having a cop dad is a good cover. do you not remember how these movies work tara?!" tara dropped her head. "is she always like this?" quinn asked, looking at the others. nobody answered her but quinn knew what they meant.

"anika." anika blew a kiss to her girlfriend, mindy blew one back. "as i said.." she stopped for a moment.

"never trust the love interest."