Losing Grip (Criminal Minds) [[ON HOLD]]

Is he okay?

Chapter Three

“Hello, hello, is there anybody out there? Cause I don’t hear a sound. Alone, alone, I don’t really know where the world is, but I miss it now. I’m out on the edge and I’m screaming my name like a fool at the top of my lungs. Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I’m alright but it’s never enough.” -Echo by Jason Walker.

The atmosphere in the waiting room was one of intense anguish, they all wanted to say something to make the waiting better. But no one had the right words. Spencer Reid was dying, and none of them could do anything about it.

Jennifer Jareau was usually the mother of these situations, the bearer of good news and sometimes of bad news. She was the comfort amongst this family of agents. She wanted to embrace them all, remind them that he would be okay because Spence was always okay, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Her arms felt like led as she stared into space thinking about nothing and everything at the same time. Her best friend, a man who was essentially a brother, was bleeding out while doctors tried to save him. The thought brought tears of worry to her eyes. She couldn’t lose him.

Derek Morgan was clutching Penelope Garcia’s hand, who had arrived as soon as she could to support her junior G-Man, as if she was his anchor to reality. To onlookers, it would appear although he was holding it to comfort her, but in actual fact, it was for him as much as her. And she understood, never moving his hand away, she just simply let her peroxide blonde head fall on his shoulder while they waited. 

Aaron Hotchner stood by the door, ready to pounce if a doctor came in to tell them any news. He wanted to be the leader, be the one to confirm the belief that their team mate would be okay. This was no Emily situation were he knew that in the long run, Spencer would be okay. He had no proof and not a lot of hope. This time was serious. 

In the end, it was David Rossi who broke the tenseness in the room, his wise voice quipped the team’s attention as he said sternly, ”Stop, okay? This isn’t going to help him. I can tell what you all are thinking, you think he isn’t going to make it. But isn’t there one thing we’ve always learnt from that kid? That he will always surprise us? Positive thoughts.” His sudden outburst shocked the team. But they agreed by nodding their dumbstruck heads. Rossi stood up and looked at them all, “You all look terrible, I’m going on a coffee run, crappy machine coffee on me,” he joked feebly. 

Once he was gone, Garcia looked up, her eyes wide and watery, “Do you think he is going to be okay?” 

JJ broke out of her numbness and mumbled, “We have too.”

Garcia’s eyes let out a stray tear, “But what if he isn’t? What if we lose him, he’s our family. We can’t bury another one. Even though-even though last time was fake, we just can’t. Our family will be broken, we can’t.” Derek patted her hand as he whispered a gentle shush baby girl.

While someone was trying to think of the right words to say, the door burst open and a doctor walked in.

Doctor Adrien Harriet was a man in his late forties, he had frown lines around his eyes and he looked like he had been doing his job too long, it had gotten to him. Now, as he sat down in front of this group of people, he tried to think of the correct wording. 

“Spencer is definitely a fighter. We brought him in for surgery and he coded, once, but he bounced straight back. But, he did lose a lot of blood and we have to keep him in recovery for a while and he has yet to wake up. But he seems to be stabilising and you can all see him when he wakes up.”

As he spoke, the anguish lifted and was replaced with an almost relief. No one said anything for a moment, rather they just took in the news and gathered their thoughts.

He was alive.

He was okay.

He was going to be okay.

Once the doctor left, David returned carrying a tray of coffee, his face apprehensive. He hadn’t known what to think when he had seen the careworn doctor leave the waiting room. Walking in, he set down the coffee and turned to see his team with tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces. “So he’s okay?” He asked, his heart lifting into his throat while he waited for an answer.

Aaron nodded, a smile stretching across his face, “He’s going to be okay.”