There's a thing called 'daddy issues' where in girls have little to no experience of theirs father's love and care. Maybe they experience abuse, neglect, or no father figure to guide and to depend on. As a result they can become anxious about friendships or their partners, frequent change of relarionship, premarital sex, failed school, and bad behaviors.
I'm a young adult, I'm thinking 5yrs from now, will I be able to graduate? Did I retain and able to pass the qualifying exam to my program? Did I enjoy my college life? Where did I took my OJT? My school? Other school? Company? Perhaps Hospital like I hope to be?
10 yrs Did I pass Psychometrician Board Exam? How did I study? Did I pass? Do I have my MD now or PhD? Am I a guidance counsellor? A profeasor? Principal? HR head? Admin? Business? Maybe not? Maybe I study again, medical school? Am I an intern? A resident doctor? Attending Physician? Consulting Physician? What specialty did I took? Psychologist? Surgeon sounds cool but bloody. Cardiology? Love problem. Family medicine are broad and difficult. Opthalmologist? is the lasic surgery free or do I have a discount? Maybe Anesthesiologists cause I'm lazy? Dermatologist? Nah they won't trust my face. Maybe I'm a Military Doctor? Gotta steal some exercise and hear their heroic battles first hand and ofcourse help them! Pediatricians okay too.
I don't know what will I become, I just hope that God will always be with me. In my strength and weakness but who am I? I'm the one who always turn my back on Him. But He is the one who will always be ready and just waiting for me to return. Maybe I'm burnt out, tired, want to quit my commitments, maybe one day all that the problems that I ran away from will comeback, guilt that continue bugging me, the unthinkable and immoral thoughts are still lingering.
LORD, I pray that You'll be with me the whole time, to guide me to Your chosen path for me, to enlighten me to the things that I'm uncertain, take away my doubts and shame to you, to comfort me in times of sickness, loneliness, sadness, anger, grief, regrets, doubts, distraught from all my bad decision that I made.
Empower me LORD everytime I pray and feel the negatives. Nourish and establish my lukewarm faith and make it into the boiling point. Make brave enough to do what you want me to do. Restore me physically everytime I used the body that you have lend and care. I wish for a good character developent that everytime I meet someone I'll leave them a life lesson and that you LORD manifest in my life. That every success I hit in life, you are mirrored as a successful in my life. Every praise that I'll got, its You will be praised because of how wonderful and generous you are to my life. I'll become a fruitful branch, that I'm not the only one connected to Your vine but also my whole family and love ones. A thriving and lovely pleasant branch to your sight.
Protect me and my love ones to harm. Toughen up my mental stablity to resist and avoid temptation. Build up my tolerance and patience so that I will not be sinned and hasty decision that sometimes thinking but id got better on me.
So I pray LORD, that be with me, cleanse, love, care, remember me everytime. Despite my flaw and irrational thoughts and action.
