But now i'm bleeding.

Part 6

Too soft, too round and way too close. Her eyes opened instantly, finding the tangle of blonde hair lying beside her.

'Shit. shit, shit, shit, shit' she muttered into the pillow. 

The peace she had felt in sleep had gone. 

This was bad.

 She should get up, ring her sister or go to the doctor maybe. Anything but stay here next to Taylor. She was married for goodness sake. Yet the thought of getting out of bed was impossible. Because once she got out of bed, she'd have to admit what this was, whatever it was.

 She reached over to grab her glasses but found Taylor's phone instead. Matching cat stickers covered it, paws everywhere framing the small chunky screen. It felt like a brick compared to her sleek future one. And her lock screen was just as she'd remembered it, her and Taylor sitting cross-legged in her old treehouse. She loved that purple top on Taylor. 

She had looked so beautiful that day as the sun went down, bathed in a pink backdrop, her curly blonde hair wild and shining. It was the first time she said I love you. Karlie wasn't surprised. It was obvious to her that Taylor had been holding it in for weeks. Like a restrained child, she had been catching herself from blurting it out practically every day. The truth was Karlie couldn't wait to say it back too, but she hadn't wanted to come on too strong. The possibility of scaring Taylor off was too much to risk. She needed Taylor to say it first.

'I love you Tay' she whispered. 

She hadn't said it out loud in years. But she needed to say it now. Then she'd get up, and deal with the day. She sat up, pulling down the shirt that had ridden up in the night, stealing one last look at her girl sleeping. She should have remembered what a light sleeper Taylor was. She was mumbling something, eyes closed as she rolled over. Clearly still half asleep, she reached over, effectively locking Karlie in place with her arm and legs. 

'Just a bit longer' Karlie just about made out from Taylor's mumblings. 

The sight would make anyone laugh. The thing about Taylor was that she was messy. Especially when she wasn't in front of a camera. And right now she looked like she had fought several armies in a storm last night. Her hair was splayed in every possible direction, her pyjamas were twisted, her arms bunched up and her mouth was open slightly. Karlie could feel it on her shoulder where her head rested. Suddenly staying a bit longer sounded pretty good.

An hour later Karlie finally slipped out of bed to make them both breakfast smoothies. She changed in her room; it felt wrong to go into the bathroom. This was just Taylor after all. And it would take her an age to get up properly. 

She used the time to really look around her old apartment. She felt like a guest, out of place in the familiar rooms that she knew so well. Her house was smaller than she remembered; one box of a bedroom, a bathroom and a third room made up her kitchen that tripled as a diner, lounge, and study. Taylor called it the 'everything' room. She could see the remnants of a party she must have had a few days ago, the odd plastic cup, a lipstick that could have only been Cara's. And pictures everywhere. Pictures of Taylor, mostly. It was embarrassing how much of her was here. Even her cupboards were filled with the cookies Taylor loved.

 With Josh, she had cleaners, and rooms that interior designers had filled. Admittedly, they were much more comfortable, but there was a quiet easiness to this little flat. And she found herself missing it.

'Morning karls' Taylor said through a yawn, coming up to sit on the wooden stall she put in front of her counter.