Hockey Pucks & Pixie Dust

17 - Neither Human or Fae

The moment Sindri set foot in the fae realm again, she promptly extracted herself and dipped into a low curtsy. "Please excuse me. There are probably things you wish to say — not all of them good — but I need time and space to process everything."

She was about to turn when Elvinia called out, stopping her. "Wait." Sindri turned, and the queen raised her hand in a signal to halt. "Before you take your leave, will you tell me what he said? Loki is clever with words, and I might be able to assist in understanding your emotions."

Sindri's eyes and cheeks burned. There were too many sentiments to comprehend and express, but the easiest to identify were anger, pain, and overwhelming sadness that her choice had been stolen from her again.

Inhaling a shaking breath, she snapped, unable to internalize the bursting dam any longer. "Oh, you've helped enough through your inaction, m'lady. You could have told me when I first arrived I never had a chance to become human. Instead, you allowed me to waste a thousand years on pursuing a dream that meant nothing!"

"Emma, that is not true," Elvinia stated, betraying her calm tone with stricken eyes. "I did not know you could never return to your human form."

Sindri laughed derisively and folded her arms over her chest. "Oh? It's your magic. How can you possibly tell me you hadn't the slightest inkling this would be the eventual outcome?" She enunciated her words, stressing them as betrayal cascaded throughout her body.

Somehow, the queen managed to make her distress appear graceful with the natural rise and fall of her chest and delicate fingers pressed against her quivering mouth and flushed skin. "I apologize, truly, for you know I cannot lie. I had no knowledge because you are the first human to ever become fae."

"First, or only?" Sindri snapped, aware of how she must have appeared as her throat tightened, turning her words into small squeaks. "There is a difference."

When Elvinia kept her silence, Sindri shook her head, sending tears everywhere. Dabbing her eyes with the pads of her fingers, she sniffed. "Looks like I have my answer." Retreating toward the grand oak doors, she hiccuped, gesticulating with each word. "You, the gods — you're all no better than the humans you despise."

"That is enough!" Thayer shouted, barging into the hall and startling Sindri. He appeared breathless as if he'd run, but Sindri knew better. Every fae here was too lazy and dependent on their magic to do something as simple as run or walk to their destination, which only served to fuel her rage.

Whirling away from Elvinia and ignoring her outright, Sindri marched straight for the man she'd considered her dearest friend and jabbed her finger into his chest. "It's okay for you to spout awkward truths but not me?"

Pain flashed across his eyes as he stumbled backward. "Emma, you're upset and behaving erratically."

"I'm done with this, and I'm done with all of you." Sindri maneuvered around him, only for him to take her arm. She tried to jerk it away, but he held firm, watching her with a mix of alarm and confusion. "Let me go," she warned, clenching her fist at her side and prepared to slap him if necessary.

His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat, but he shook his head. "Not until you calm down. Let us help you."

"I said no!" When she raised her hand to deliver her intended blow, Thayer easily caught her first and closed his fingers around her knuckles. Struggling in his grasp, she shouted, "I don't want your help! Don't you get it! You, Loki, Elvinia... every single one of you has tried to dictate my life in one way or another!"

His brows creased. "What are you talking about?"

A sob escaped, followed by another hiccup, and she couldn't even leave the room to fall apart alone. One tear after another rolled down her cheeks, staining her skin and dress. "You say you love me, but if you respected me, you'd let me figure this out on my own without pushing me to reject humans. You hate them, and therefore would have hated me too had I been given the choice to go back."

"No—"

Sindri cut him off before he could try to gaslight her with some crappy logical response designed to make her look foolish. "You would though! You've always hated them. Could you really have held affection for me, let alone looked my way before I met you? Your love is conditional and biased."

"Look at what they did to you!" Squeezing her hand still in his, he met her gaze head-on, sparking fire like lit matches dipped in gasoline. "They cut you up and studied you. They've done nothing but cause you pain and harm. They are petty, dishonest, and conniving. The only thing they care about is what benefits them individually."

"And the fae are spiteful and cruel," she shot back, refusing to back down. Even when Thayer's face crumpled, Sindri fixed her jaw and gave no concessions. For once, she needed to make herself heard. Lowering her voice, she said, "I saw what Elvinia did to Loki — what his own kin did to him. Yes, humans can be selfish, but they do try to be better. They fail more than they succeed, but what makes their lives worthwhile is learning from mistakes and trying to be better. Instead of following their example, the ancient gods choose to demean and belittle us while harming anyone who stands in their way. And what makes you all worse is that you have the power to inflict that damage."

Thayer faltered and dropped her hand, staggering backward as if she'd slapped him. "We could never—"

"Hurt me?" An irrational laugh escaped Sindri's throat as she shook her head with a scoff. "Too late." She then faced Elvinia, who shed no tears, yet visibility swallowed as her mouth trembled.

The lost little girl in Sindri wanted to apologize to her maternal figure, but the vengeful and embittered fae twisting her soul demanded she see this through. Never again would Sindri allow herself to be manipulated by the gods or immortals. After all, Loki had freed her in his own way, and she only realized it now as her decision clicked into place within her mind and heart.

Glancing between the pair and ignoring anyone else who sought to eavesdrop, Sindri shrugged. "Funny, but do you know Loki spoke to me inside my head just before we left?" Elvinia blinked and pressed her lips together, so Sindri filled in the blanks. "He said my name. Not aloud, but only to me. And you told me a thousand years ago there is great power in a name."

"What are saying?" Thayer kept his distance, watching her with eyes like a deer in the headlights, as if he were truly seeing her for the very first time and afraid of what was yet to come.

Another chuckle. "I may have the physical appearance of a fae, but I will never be one of you. Not completely." She moistened her lips and lowered her head. "I won't ever be human again either. And now I realize I could never go back to the life I had even if I'd been given that choice, but it doesn't mean I have to confine myself to a box where I don't fit."

Thayer opened his mouth and lifted his hand. "But you do—"

"Don't belong," she reiterated, barreling over his attempts to control the conversation. This was her moment and chance to take back what had been stolen. "I am neither human or fae. I am a hybrid, and thus I belong to no faction. It was Loki who transformed me, and now he has given me the power to break free of your influence."

Time seemed to slow as her most beloved friends watched her with glistening eyes and downturned mouths. Magic hummed in every vein, every cell of her body, manifesting itself through a soft silver glow. The runic marking on her arm faded, dissolving from the power her acceptance had unleashed until nothing remained on her pale skin. No longer did her back ache as her wings hummed and vibrated with luminescent blue. The taut leash tethering her between two worlds snapped, opening the gate to every possibility beyond this realm and the next.

With a deep breath and her head held high, Sindri bid her final farewell to the pair. "I will always love and treasure you both; that will never change. But from this moment on, I am my own entity. I determine which rules I follow and the life I choose to live. Don't follow me."

She nearly told them to give Paloma her regards, but the young fae had more access to the human realm with the skill to blend in and travel undetected. Sindri would see her again. But for now, a new chapter in her life awaited, and she had a charming and attractive human to ask on another date.

Neither clicking her fingers or using Elvinia's dramatic flair, Sindri decided to take her first step into the unknown future with something of her own. Reaching deep into her well of magic, she held her palm facing up and smiled as a silver and blue ball of light expanded and formed a bubble around her. As the portal shimmered, she commanded it to take her home before dropping her hand and leaving her family forever.

WC: 1572
Overall WC: 33114