Hell on Earth { a southpark creek fic }

Crisis Averted

hi bitch. i did a rewrite. i found this really cringe.

Craig pov

Waking up on the first day of school is not as graceful as it seems in the movies. My awakening was by my pet guinea pig, Stripe squealing at the top of her lungs because my alarm went off. I turn off my annoying ass phone alarm and open my drawers to find something wearable for the day. I chose a navy NASA hoodie with some black ripped jeans, navy Converse along with NASA socks and my signature blue chullo hat. I place my outfit on my bed as I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I didn't brush my hair because it's the first day. I go to the kitchen and look at the time on the oven " 6:05 ". I had 30 minutes to spare, I decided it would be best to make Tricia and I breakfast. I pop an eggo waffle in the toaster and tell Tricia that I made her a waffle and walk out the door. I didn't toast my waffle because I prefer mine frozen.

I walk out my door hop on my bike and cruise down the sidewalk towards my school. I get a couple blocks down and I notice a coffee shop. It must be new I have never seen it before. [ no you just don't leave your backyard ] I get a closer look at the shop and I see a sign above the door. " Tweak Bros. Coffee " in bold letters. Doesn't 'tweaking out' mean being high on methamphetamine or something? Nevermind. I lock my bike up and walk through the doors and I see a blonde boy with spiky hair mopping the floor. Wait he's.. twitching? Maybe the name actually meant something. "GAH!"  The blonde jumped when he saw me in the door and rushed to the cash register. Kinda cute- wait im straight... right? I walk up to the cash register and was greeted by this 5'7' blonde boy with green eyes and freckles. His face looks really fun to draw. I think to myself as I inspect his face. "GAH! IS THErE S-SOMETHING ON MY FACE??! OH GOD WHAT IF ITS A HUGE MAN EATING SPIDER OUT TO GET ME!! SO MUCH PRESSURE" .

I apologize profusely for staring at his face and order a coffee with mocha cream and 2 sugars. He makes it with ease and hands me my order and as I pay for the beverage a sudden sound fills my eardrums "OH JESUS IM LATE FOR SCHOOL ".  " Calm down spaz we can take my bike there " I say in a somewhat soothing voice. We walk out the doors and I start to unlock my bike from the rail. " HOW AM I GONNA FIT ON THERE?! " He says with fear in his tone. " Just sit behind me, spaz ". He sits behind me and wraps his arms around my waist as I ride to school.  

"OooOOoh~ Craig found a boyfriend~" Clyde says in a sing-song tone. "Fuck you." Being me, I flipped Clyde off. "Okay fiiinee I won't embarrass you in front of your boy crush anymore." Clyde says with a smug look on his face. I lock up my bike and speed walk inside the school doors. "LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S ON THEIR MAN PERIOD" I hear Clyde's voice from outside the now closing school doors followed by Tolkien's laughter. [ Clyde always knew Craig was gay. But Craig keeps denying this  ̶p̶o̶s̶s̶i̶b̶i̶l̶i̶t̶y̶  fact because if his dad found out. Not even he would know what would happen.] The raven haired boy continues to walk down to the counselors office (not that anyone would be there because the last one died of overdose) to get his schedule. He opens the counselors office to find Mr Mackey. "Mr Mackey what the hell are you- Nevermind can I just have my schedule." A happy looking Mr Mackey handed me my papers and waved goodbye.  I take a look at my schedule and head to first period.

PD 1 - Ms. Choksondik - English

PD 2 - Mr Chef - Culinary Skills 

PD 3 - Mr. Fynn - Geometry(T1,T2) Science (T3,T4)

PD 4 - Ms Jeunx - Visual Arts

PD 5 - Mr Dikismal - Theater

PD 6 - Mr Towelie - Gardening Skills

PD 7 - Mr Garrison - History.

Tweek pov

I somehow got my schedule from the grouchy lady up front with massive tits- no wait that's just Ms Choksondik and check it.

PD 1 - Ms. Choksondik - English

PD 2 - Mr Chef - Culinary Skills

PD 3 - Mr Icukdic -  Invention & Innavation

PD 4 - Ms Jeunx - Visual Arts

PD 5 - Mr Connor - Creative Arts

PD 6 - Mr Towelie - Gardening Skills

PD 7 - Mr Garrison - History

I don't understand what "Gardening Skills" is but okay. I walk to my first period and open the door to reveal a fuming Ms Choksondik screaming "this is the most disrespectful class I have ever had in my 30 years of teaching!" or some shit like that. I jump at the sight of her head snapping over to my direction. I give an awkward wave and speed walk over to a seat. I barely recognize anybody here except for the guy that let me ride his bike with him. I cringe at the memory. "TWEEK!" "GAH!" I get startled by a raven haired boy screaming my name stopping me from zoning out. I walk over to his seat and place my stuff down on a nearby desk. 

"What was your name again? I sorta forgot it over the summer the only reason I remember you is because you beat the shit out of me in GAH fourth grade." I whisper to the black haired boy next to me while Ms Choksondik is talking about her overly dramatic vacation with some guy she met on tinder. The boy rips some paper off of his sketchbook and grabs a NASA themed mechanical pencil and starts writing what I assume is his name. He finished his writing and handed me the note. 

                                                               𝓒𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓰 𝓣𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓻 :) 

                                                               1(385)******* 

I stare at the paper then all of the possibilities of what's happening come to mind...

OH JESUS WHAT IF HE IS A PSYCHOTIC CANNIBALISTIC STALKER AND IS OUT TO GET ME?!?! AAAAAAAGHHH HE ALREADY SOMEHOW KNOWS MY NAME!! [ maybe the reason he knows your name is because it was on your uniform when you were in the cafe but ok ] I attempt to fold the note up with my shaky ass hands and slip it into my pocket. I take a huge gulp of my "special" coffee my mom makes me from my thermos to calm me down. "Slow down Tweek you're gonna choke if you-" "GAY" Craig gets interrupted by Clyde which caused almost everyone else to turn around to look at me and Craig. Clyde covers his mouth with one hand and slowly turns around. I almost sprayed my coffee everywhere because of laughter but luckily the thermos was still up to my lips.

                                                                  Crisis averted

WORD COUNT : 1367 

A/N I really want to make a story about cartman but idk what ship to approve of. I dislike kyman but I hate the cartman x heidi ship too. Im thinking of writing a story of him dating a new kid that is almost as mentally ill as he is what do yall think?  OR I could just not make him in love at all and just add him in a style thing where cartman and kyle arent bickering all the time because cartman has matured. tell me what you want in the comments. 

i fixed this chapter again. bye