🍒Hesitation🍒

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It's been an entire day since Cherry has locked herself away up in bedroom denying us any access to her or even allowing us to even speak to her.

I don't know about the others but it's driving me absolutely borderline insane.

She heard every fucking thing that Dax spewed out of his mouth in his own damn hatred toward all of us.

When I saw her standing there looking so damn fragile and heartbroken in the entryway of the living room my heart literally dropped straight down to my boots.

Now, thanks to Dax, she seems to think that none of us actually give a shit about her.

I hate the fact that she may think that I actually still have any remote loving feelings toward Stella because I assuredly fucking don't.

I may have hesitated on making the harsh decision between hers and Stella's life but I would never in my life let Cherry die over another.

I care far too much for her to even possibly think something like that.

When Dax accused of me of still being in love with Stella, I froze up instantly.

Hesi-fucking-tating, yet again. Like I seem to always do.

For a minuscule second I honestly thought that he was correct in his bias assumptions.

Then when I looked up and saw my mate standing there, my eyes locked up with Cherrys crying one's and I knew in that instant that Daxs assumptions were completely fucking false.

I didn't lie when I told everyone that I was actually falling in love with Cherry. Hell I've already went pass falling and headed straight into fell.

I quickly wised up and realized that I love Cherry with all of my deprave heart.

But unfortunately I may have just realized my love for her a little too damn late.

Blowing out an exasperated breath as I fidget with my damn tie again trying to get formally dressed for Lion and Linz's funeral today I try to hold back my tears and my irrefutable regret.

Today isn't about me it's all about them. Stop being so damn selfish, I berate myself for like the tenth time today already.

I may not of had the best relationship with them but I still considered them both really good friends. Now I hugely regret treating them both like I did. Im a fucking idiot.

Nobody knows exactly why I disliked them like I did. Nobody has ever really truly asked my ass either.

But after a while I just learned to make some sort of peace with them both for my family's sake and mainly for my own.

I hate this. I truly do. I should've been a better friend to them. We use to be so damn close in our earlier years. That is until that one damn rainy night that destroyed our friendship, that damn night is when every thing changed between us all.

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