2am Thoughts
(The Unreleased)
November 10th, 2017
I can feel my chest tighten,
Every bad moment,
Every horrendous thought,
Rushing through my mind,
Over flooding my head,
The blood stains,
The pain,
The Fear,
I curled upon the ground.
I scream into the floor,
"Make it Stop!" I begged.
"Please make it stop!" I'd plead.
The pain is unbearable,
I screamed so loud,
How could no one hear me?
How could no one ask?
I imagine my blood,
As it drips from the porcelain,
As it oozes from my veins,
And pools upon the carpet at 2am,
I remember that feeling,
Because I was there,
My thoughts,
They may not be straight.
But they are clear.
I miss her face,
I miss his words,
I just want to be held,
But never touched again,
And 2am, it all comes back,
I can feel the monster clawing at the door,
It gnaws at my insides,
It demands to be felt,
These inside me, they're aching for help!
And I don't have the soundness to admit,
At 2am, I want you here,
At 2am, I want to hurt myself,
At 2am, I feel at my weakest,
At 2am, I'm just not myself,
And 2am, I want to murder myself,
Because I have to be the problem,
And I don't know how to fix it!
But at 2am, they take to victims!
At 2am, I sit with a bottle, and tears in my eyes,
And I'm begging for them to make it subside,
Just one more drink, and the pain, it'll go away,
At 2am, it sounds like a deal,
One last slit,
One last veins,
One last line,
One last bottle,
Who will care if I died at the end of this trail,
I'm the one in scrutiny,
My reputation in shambles,
But at 2am, I don't understand...
At 2am, I just want it all to end.
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Cataclysmic
PoetryThe darkest periods of my life have been documented in one or another, and I have decided to document this portion for myself, in hopes that it helps others going through these struggles. These Cataclysmic events in my life, I can now look back on a...
