Not An Obsession

What has to be done

After all of this I called Tianna. Let her know I was back home. "So what are you going to do about the baby?" She asked me.

"I don't know truthfully and I haven't told my mom yet shed kill me."

"Tranae your not ready to have a baby just face it." She was right. "I mean I love you girl and I'll help as much if I can but your not ready." "I know. I know." I listened to her talk on on bout how I'm not ready.

I had a doctors appointment the next day. So no school for me. I haven't told my mom about this pregnancy and I didn't plan on it either. Mike came and pick me up.

"Are you sure about this? I mean nae abortion." "Y'all all keep telling me I ain't ready. I don't wanna get attached then have to give it up."

He just shook his head and pulled up to the clinic.

"You want me to come?" I shook my head and walked back into the office.

"Are you sure you wanna terminate this pregnancy?"The doctor asked me. "You where aware of the other possibilities." "Yes sir." He nodded his head and few minutes later the nurse came in. And after that it was all a blur. I saw mike sitting in the waiting room. I walked past him holding my stomach.

"Nae!" I just kept walking.

I heard him running after me. So I turned to him.

"Just stop. Leave me alone."

I started walking. I know exactly where I wanted to go. Since I've been dating Dontae I've been thinking alot about the sperm donor they call me father. Guess it's time to pay his trifflin' ass a visit.

~

I signed into the front for visiting hours after a nice 30 minute bus ride to get here.

I sat in the room their were a few other families but not many.

I just sat there tapping my hand on the table. I closed my eyes just trying to get one good memory in my mind but I couldn't. I didn't have any. I tried to picture his face but I couldn't. I heard the chair slid from the other side of the table. I opened my eyes to see his piercings emerald eyes starring back at me.

"I almost forgot your face." I said to him. "I can't forget yours," He sat something on the table. "You've grown up beautifully."

I sat there quite still looking at him. He eyeballed me too.

"¿lo que observamos?" "I'm looking at you." I said back with the same attitude he gave me. "I ain't seen you since I was what? 7." "By your own choices." "Why would I wanna be around a nigga who left me?" "Why are you here?"

That question stumped me. I didn't really know why. "I asked you a question." "And when I think of the answer I'll tell you." He chuckled to my surprise. "Still a fiery little Latina" "it's in my blood."

He nodded. I got my hot head mentality from him.

"Still writing poetry?" "Poetry turned into rap a while ago.""you rapping now you still sing?" "When I'm in church."

"You know I get out next month." "Yea I heard." "Is that what you here about tell me don't work my ass back into ya mama life?"

"Naw she aint dumb enough to take ya ass back." "I'm 9 years clean." "And? I'm 17 you know what it's like growing up with a daddy behind bars for 10 years. You just don't know."

"I don't know nae please tell me. Yea I been locked up 10 years but I know everything about you niña. I know about every bad grade every missed party every bad day. I even know you left ya house not to long ago."