Since going back, my mental journey has undergone many changes.
From the panic, discomfort, and struggle at the beginning, to the unwillingness and hard work in the middle... to the final resignation and peace.
I really, really did put in a lot of effort.
I tried to become mature and stable, and I also started to take various skin care products home to see my parents, and learned to help my parents share some trivial and chores in life. But maybe I lived too easily in the first half of my life, and I still did not do well, so that my parents finally sighed and took over my work with a smile.
"Forget it, forget it, go rest if you don't want to do it." They said.
I said awkwardly: "No, I really don't know how to..." Wash the fish and peel off the scales, but they didn't seem to believe it and drove me out of the kitchen.
Actually, I can learn it, practice makes perfect, understand?
But Ze'an was so good at it before, so that my serious study process was considered perfunctory.
well.
I also learned to give various suggestions to Fu Shan who came to consult me about relationship problems.
But I'm a person who can't think about things. When I saw Fu Shan complaining about her boyfriend, I listened to her from her perspective like before, and said angrily: "Let's break up, the next one will be better." Fu Shan was taken aback
, He hesitated and asked me: "Should we really divide it?...Ze'an, you can analyze it objectively. In fact, he is quite good sometimes..."
I hate iron but steel: "Didn't you say that he is not very good?" Do you want to reply to your message?"
Fu Shan said: "Yes, but Song Ge used to be like this, he is just a person who is not very good at talking online. Mainly in different places..."
She hesitated for a while and sighed.
"Forget it, I'll think about it myself. Ze'an should go to bed early too."
I seem to hear this kind of sighing sound often.
From parents, from friends, from everyone around.
I began to question my own existence, and hated myself for not being able to do anything well. I began to understand the compassionate eyes of the god of death at that time, and I shouldn't have come back.
Obviously, what everyone needs is another Ze'an.
But except for Ji Qin who gets along day and night, no one seems to realize that I am no longer the Ze'an I used to be.
I'm also trying to be intimate with Ji Chin.
Because he pretended that Ze'an was not around, he actually lived a very depressed life, but he didn't accept my comfort. As I said before, he didn't want to see me, and was even afraid to see me.
Hey, I actually understand.
But I'm still sad and don't know who to tell.
When Ji Qin came back one day, he was drunk and didn't find the key at the door, so he called me naturally, and called me Ze'an Ze'an softly over there, open the door quickly.
I was flattered, in fact, he hadn't called me a single call before that.
I rushed to the entrance to open the door for him in two steps at a time. Ji Qin leaned on the threshold with drunken eyes and said to me with a smile, "Ze'an, I knew you would come back." I pursed my lips
. , not daring to look directly at him, struggling to lift his heavy body, ready to send him to his room.
He was still whispering: "I knew it, Ze'an, I've been waiting for you..."
At this moment, I really wish I was deaf.
When I finally put him on the bed, he suddenly became very uncooperative, wouldn't let me touch him, resisted my attempts to take his coat off.
"Ze'an, are you leaving?"
"You want me to go to bed early and then leave, right?"
I was very helpless, it was the first time I saw such a naive Ji Qin, but I was also very sad, because no matter No matter what kind of Ji Qin it is, it's not for me to see.
"Ze'an, will you go..."
In the end, Ji Qin seemed tired, took my hand and said softly, his tone seemed to be pleading.
My heart also ached.
I sat beside him and slowly leaned over to hug him. He seemed to be taken aback for a moment, and then hugged me even tighter the next second.
I comforted him and said, "I'm not leaving."
He loved hearing this sentence very much, his body relaxed slightly, and he didn't hold my hand so hard.
So I continued to say: "I'm not leaving."
I kept repeating these words until I was a little numb, and I felt that he was completely relieved.
He turned around and put his lips on mine.
I was startled, the kiss was very light and fast, before I could react, the warmth on my lips had disappeared.
Ji Qin narrowed his eyes and asked in confusion, "Ze'an, why are you crying?"
