It was even more difficult for me to fall asleep without the aid of sleeping pills.
I know that Ji Qin will not allow me to give myself medicine to help me sleep absurdly every day, so I will force myself to close my eyes. The long night is really hard, but I think it doesn't matter if I bear it. The painting is almost finished, and all the suffering... will come to an end.
Ji Qin still ignores me, he is very busy with work, I often only see him at night, sometimes even late at night. It seems that his work often requires entertainment recently, and he was drunk for several days and was helped back by the driver.
I subconsciously took him. He leaned on me drunkenly, and called me softly, "Ze'an."
Sometimes, I actually expected him to be drunk.
Because at that time, he was not indifferent at all, he called Ze'an tenderly, the name was chewing on his lips and teeth, I couldn't resist this hard-won warmth - of course I also knew that he was not calling
me .
Zean.
I didn't dare to do anything, only dared to respond to him softly: "I'm here."
He seemed to be in disbelief, and asked me again: "Are you Ze'an?"
My lips moved, and I found it difficult to answer this question .
I thought... of course I'm Zean.
But I'm not the Zean he wanted.
I sighed, and said in a low voice, "I'm Ze'an."
He didn't answer, but slowly loosened his normally tightly frowned brows, revealing an expression similar to aggrieved.
I didn't dare to look directly at him, I just pressed my forehead against his, and when the warm skin touched, I suddenly had the urge to cry.
"... Zean you want will be back soon."
I said.
The day the painting was finished was just three days before Valentine's Day.
It is rare for Ji Qin to stay at home during the day. When I was sitting in the living room in a daze, he suddenly asked me : "What date is today?" answered him.
And when he learned that Valentine's Day was coming, his expression was very sad.
I think I know why he is like this, because Valentine's Day is the day that fake Zean disappeared. It's been almost a year since Fake Ze'an disappeared... In fact, I've been back for a year, but no one seems to be happy for my existence, alas.
Ji Qin turned and went back to the room. I hesitated for a moment, but couldn't help knocking on his door.
"Ji Qin?"
Hearing the sound, there was no expression on his face, and even the melancholy expression that had just flashed by just disappeared, maybe he also quickly sorted out his mood.
"What's the matter."
I hesitated for a while, and said, "Are you free to accompany me home these two days? My parents called me two days ago to ask about our affairs..."
Ji Qin... After all, with Fake Ze'an met the parents. I know that he also contacted my parents during this year and visited them alone, but he never went back to see them with me. During this period of time, my parents asked me whether there was something wrong with my relationship with Ji Qin, so I thought, should I take advantage of these two days to visit them.
In any case, my parents are still my closest people, and Ji Qin is someone I have always liked for a long time. If I could see the three of them meet with my own eyes, it would be my wish come true.
Ji Qin was also taken aback, an obvious struggle flashed across his face.
Will he say yes?
My heart beat so fast that I didn't dare to look up and meet him.
"...No more."
After a long time, I heard him say.
Unexpectedly, my state of mind is particularly peaceful. I didn't seem surprised to hear this answer.
In the vast dream, I am the only one who realizes first. But I... have been reluctant to admit it, as if I still have expectations for this world.
I smiled and said to him: "Well... I'll just ask, I plan to visit my parents tomorrow." Ji Qin frowned and looked at me, and after a long silence, he
said: "It's up to you."
Before closing the door, I stopped him again.
"You...will be very busy these two days, I have a gift for you." I said, "It's Valentine's Day."
