One last Chance- Seungjin

7 TW- ed, sh mentioned

"Shh guys look" Chan said when he walked into the living room while pointing at Hyunjin and Seungmin.
Both of them had fallen asleep. Hyunjin was laying on his back on the couch while Seungmin was laying on top of him.
"Oh let me take a pic!" Jisung whispered while taking out his phone, and taking some pictures.
"Hey cut that out they're gonna wake up... and send some of those to me!" Changbin whispered back at Jisung.
"Yeah yeah come on guys let's go, give them some privacy" Chan said while walking into the kitchen.
"Well they're the ones to sleep on MY couch in MY dorm" Jisung said while following Chan.

The original plan was to go out to eat, but they couldn't decide to where to eat, they also felt bad for leaving Hyunjin and Seungmin at the dorm. Instead they bought groceries and decided to eat a home cooked meal. Usually going to the grocery store wouldn't take more than 30 minutes, but when 6 chaotic teenage boys go together, the time it takes automatically triples.

In the kitchen the boys tried to be as quiet as possible, but what they didn't know was that Hyunjin was actually awake. He didn't want to move. The warmth from being so close to another body, was not only heartwarming, but so cozy. Hyunjin never wanted to get up. This was the day that Hyunjin realized he loved cuddling.
Seungmin was asleep dreaming about a big flower field.

Dinner was almost ready and Jeongin was assigned to wake up the boys, he walked quietly so he could scare the boys awake. When Jeongin entered the room he saw something he didn't expect, he saw Hyunjins eyes were open. That wasn't everything, Hyunjin was stroking Seungmins hair. Very carefully, gently and it seemed almost like Seungmin was someone dear to him. Jeongin stepped back from the opening to the living room and jumped from the hallway into the living room. "BU" Jeongin screamed and only 2 seconds later the boys on the couch screamed aswell. Jeongin laughed so hard, he had trouble breathing.
Seungmin got off of Hyunjin and quickly apologized for falling asleep on him, Hyunjin said it's alright, but Seungmin still felt bad about it.

At the dinner table Seungmin was still very tired. He didn't really have an appetite, but Felix and Jisung still shoved food down his throat. They said "Seung you have to eat more" "yea, you're as skinny as a 3rd grader, and that's not a compliment"
Seungmin felt bad for worrying his friends. He promised them that he would start eating more. The only problem was the voices in his head.

"You're a pig... you don't need food... the only reason they're your friends is because you're skinny... do you remember what you used to look like... do you wanna be fat... you're not worthy of eating... stick to water... you don't need the extra calories"

That was all he heard after he promised the guys he would eat more. Suddenly he felt the food creeping up, seungmin ran to the bathroom just in time before he puked. After he ran from the table Jisung and Felix looked at each other.
"Did we say anything wrong?" They asked to the rest of the group, but no one said anything.

Hyunjin didn't eat anything either, he was caught up thinking about cuddling. His head snapped up when Seungmin came back.
"I'm sorry, I think I might be sick..." Seungmin seemed stressed. Hyunjin kept thinking about the way seungmin had said it. In such a low and whispery voice, pressing his body close to himself and slightly shaking.
"Was seungmin ever abused?" Hyunjin blurted out.
The whole table froze and everyone stared at him. " I mean it was just a question? He seemed scared to tell you he was sick. I just wondered... no need to look at me like I'm a weirdo" Hyunjin kept explaining, but it seemed no one really understood him.

Hyunjin kept playing with his food, little did he know that a few rooms away seungmin was having a complete breakdown. Crying and shaking, he didn't know what to do. He had heard Hyunjin asking that question and he immediately knew what was going to happen. Suddenly he remembered where Jisung and Felix kept their *new and unopened* razors.
Seungmin knew it wasn't good for him, he had stayed clean for so long. All these sudden changes, his ed coming back, the question about abuse, him feeling like a burden. It all became too much and Seungmin instantly went back to square one. He saw comfort in his blood dripping down his arm. It hurt, but it was so comforting. It was like he had satisfied a craving he had for ages.

Until someone opened the door...

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This is coming from someone who has struggled with and ed and sh. I'm not trying to glorify it at all, and if anyone becomes triggered then it's not my fault. It says in the description and the chapter name that ed and sh is included in this story.

If you have experienced similar problems feel free to reach out. You're never alone🩷