One last Chance- Seungjin

10

Hyunjin POV

I woke up as usual, it was Thursday and I don't have any classes that day. Mainly because I'm lazy, but also because I have therapy on Thursdays. Sometimes I get really upset after and I wouldn't be able to go to class.

I called a cab to take me to my appointment on time. I would drive if I could, but I still haven't gotten my license. My dad bought me a koenigsegg gemera last year.

At my therapist I always feel kinda dull. Hospitals in general are kinda frightening, so white and sterilized. She asked me a bunch of boring questions, which I answered but yea it was so boring.
Until the question I dread every time.

"Are you still attracted to boys?"

It always breaks me, and the answer is always yes. Because I can't change who I am, I've realized that by now, but the damage is still done. All those years I tried to hide, and still my dad figured it out. That's why I'm in here anyway. It's all because I liked a boy. My dad thinks this therapy will "fix" my sexuality. He wouldn't know if I actually went to therapy tho. He's in jail. Still I'm too afraid to not go, what if all my memories comes back into now time.

Every time she askes me that question I cry. She already knows the answer. Since I'm not a minor anymore she won't tell my dad. That's something good.
I walked out of the therapy office and bumped into someone. I couldn't see who it was at first, my vision was blurred. I focused my eyes and saw Seungmin. My sweet Seungmin. I hugged him tight and cried, I was sure he was startled. I cried and cried and I didn't realize we were outside. I saw my cab and pulled seungmin with me into it. I had all these voices in my head and the drive felt like a couple of seconds.

When I got inside my house I went straight up the stairs and into my bedroom. I cried for a while, and took a shower. Then I realized that Seungmin was still in my house. I looked for him, since it's a big house so it took a while. I found seungmin looking at one of my paintings.

My only painting.

I was so young and naive back then. I was 16 and had just started a new school. There I had fallen in love, with a boy. We liked each other and ended up being in a 7 month relationship. I had made that painting for a school project while being so in love that many people called it "the love painting" I myself didn't like that name but it's just a name. It was like this painting was a curse. Many people who didn't understand the picture thought it was because they hadn't experienced true love and ended up breaking up with their partner. Obviously it's so silly but we were just teenagers after all. The downfall really came when my dad found out about my boyfriend. He caught me and my boyfriend holding hands after school. My dad, he shot my boyfriend. Afterwards he came home and turned everything upside down. Throwing furniture at me, saying so many nasty things he even went to grab a knife. Before he could hurt me with it, the police ran thru the door, they pushed my dad to the ground and some ran to me. I stayed at the hospital for the wound I got. A big slash across my arm got stitched, while I was laying in the hospital bed I heard the news.
"A young high school boy was shot earlier today. Witnesses say they saw a tall man point a gun towards the young boy. Before he shot him he allegedly screamed 'you goddam faggots, you ruined my son'" that's when I knew "the boy was brought into ******* hospital but sadly he didn't make it. Many people to support lgbtq has left flowers where the boy was shot." I saw the flowers. "The man responsible has been identified and the police have arrested him. We will update you on this case when we know anything more"
That was it. I knew he was gone. I got up from my hospital room and left. I went to see the flowers. I stayed there for several days, my cousin Mingi helped me get through it. He was my only friend, until he decided to move. Of course I was happy for him but I became so lonely.
It took 2 years for me to let go.
In those 2 years so many things happened, things I shouldn't think about. And my dear boyfriend, his name was Yunho. I still miss him from time to time, and I often leave flowers by his grave. My dad obviously went to jail, and he got lifetime without parole which I'm happy for. I'd like to never see him again.

When seungmin asked "have you ever felt real love?" It all came back. I knew I was gonna have one of my violent outbursts so I quickly threw Seungmin out. I feel kinda bad for him, but I could let him see me. It would ruin everything.

I hope seungmin still likes me.