Worthless Confession?!

That one moment...

A/N: Thanks for all the support! I really appreciate it and I am just soo happy to see that people like what I am writing :). Now let's cut this short and get to the 10k special!

Izuku's POV unless said otherwise!

I can't hold it in anymore. This feeling that I had deep down in the bottom of my stomach pit was getting bigger and bigger. It even felt as if it was starting to swallow me hole. This emptiness and then the cold feeling as if I was missing myself, I can't stand it anymore. Each time I think about it, I feel even worse because I feel such a pressure on my chest, it was hard to breath, I could even say it kinda felt like being choked. I hated it. I didn't wanted to feel this way at all. 

Hitoshi: Hey, Izu?

Me: Mh?

Just as I was thinking about this feeling in my chest again, I looked up at Hitoshi. He was one of my classmates and the only one who didn't completly ignored me. We were both in the gen ed class and he was the son of our homeroom teacher Present Mic. Honestly, I didn't even get why he would associate with me out of all people.

Hitoshi: I stole my dads coffee this morning and then swapped his with hot coca.

Me: ... *sigh* 

I give up...

Why am I still looking at people?

This will always happen.

Each time I would look them into the eyes... no it was them who looked me into the eyes... no matter what it was, I knew it had to do with eye contact. If people look in my eyes or otherway around, they would confess to me. I didn't force them to do that. I don't even want to hear it anymore.

All the dirty secrets, all the things they wanted to hide, all the trouble I got and sometimes the beating that followed. They all think I am doing this because I want to do it. It wasn't like that! I was innocent! I never wanted this! I just... all that I ever wanted was to become a hero... well that was what I wanted not anymore. 

Their secrets was like toxic to me. I felt worse and worse whenever people would tell me something they wanted to keep a secret. It was like a weight around me that was getting heavier and heavier. Someone lift this off me! I can't breath! It is threatening me to suffocate on it. 

However there was nothing I could do.

I tried. 

I honestly did.

But... there was just nothing that could be done against it.

Me: Sorry.

Hitoshi: It's fine. I knew this would happen and still called out to ya.

Me: ... still 

Hitoshi: It's fine.

Me: So what did you want?

Hitoshi: Oh I was thinking of going to this cat cafe after school. You know my father found that out since I switched termos and now I need to make it up to him.

Me: Oh.

Hitoshi: So what you say?

Me: Thanks but no thanks. I need to get home and help out today. Family is coming over.

I smiled at Hitoshi wearing my mask like my second skin. It was nothing new for me to smile and act cheerful. I even got myself the name of a cinnamon roll or a fluffball of joy. Well that was what I wanted people to think about me becasuse I was sick and tired to actually interact with them. It would always take soo much energy out of me and if I would look at them, then it would happen again. I didn't wanted to hear their secrets or whatever they needed to Confess about.

*sigh*

Nothing really helped.

Hitoshi: You still taking them?

Me: Hm?

It was around time to take the quirk suppression pills I got so that things wouldn't get out of hands. They worked quite okay but the downside of them were all the nasty side effects and the limited time they worked.

Me: Ah yes.

Hitoshi: You should get rid of them!

As if!!!! These were the only thing that helped for now. Otherwise it would be chaos. I didn't wanted to deal with people. I didn't wanted to deal with their secrets or confession. I was not a pastor to hear them out! I was just a normal kid... well as normal as a kid with a quirk could be. I didn't even wanted anything special as well. All I ever asked for was a quiet life but that was not possible. Not at home, not at UA and not in this life....

Yeah...

I knew my answer to my problem for soo long.

But I ignored it.

I was scared of doing it.

But then again... this feeling was eating at me away. This pressure, it was choking me. The sadness I felt was tearing me appart and then there was this emptiness that I felt as if I was loosing myself. Was I even myself? Was I still okay? No... I was never okay. Not once did I feel happy after I got my quirk...

I ruined everything!

I was the reason why my parents got divorced!

I was the reason why people got into trouble.

I was the reason why mother suffered.

I was the reason why everyone was suffering.

The world would be definitelly better without this quirk, this curse of mine! I just wanted to get rid of it and that was when Kacchans voice echoed in my mind once again. It was there at the back of my corner nagging at me, urging me to do it and to listen to him.

Hitoshi: IZU?!

Me: Huh?

Hitoshi: You seemed lost in thoughts.

Me: Sorry... sorry. My life is getting a bit busy with my mom and then my little brother. You know he is getting 4 this year.

Hitoshi: He is soo cute.

Me: Yeah but don't eat him up or ama get ya!

No...

He is the worst!

Ever after my mom decided to get a boyfriend and more or less with him...

I am all alone.

I barely see them...

I know I am not much of a help and I know I am a waste of space but I also want to spend some time with them.... 

If only I was never born.