dearest diary

Diary entry 10

Hello lovelies.

How are you all?

I'm doing better today, I'm not as tired.

I'm currently home alone because both of my sisters are at prom, and my parents went out for dinner, and I didn't want to go, so now I'm at home by myself lol.

anyway.

Lately, I've been so motivated to write, like, I really want to write, but idk what to write about.

Like, I could write chapters for my other book, but idk, ig I just really need something else to write about.

I'm confusing myself.

I read so much today, like, I think I read at least two full Hyunlix wattpad stories in just one day.

Dude, sometimes I read other author's writing, and I can't help but just think, or wish that I could write as well as them. Like, I really wish I could write as well as someone like SaturnYang (She's an amazing author btw, I highly recommend Red Ribbons and Painting the Stars)

Her writing style is just so good, I wish I was able to write stories like she can.

Idk, maybe I'm just not made for that type of stuff rn.

I've always wanted to write stories, bc it makes me happy, but nobody ever talks about how hard it is to actually get to the point of actually writing your story.

They don't talk about the process of deciding what you want to write about, making the characters, and stuff like that.

That's the part I struggle with the most I think.

I always say how much I want to write stories, or write a longer book, but then I start, and almost immediately become unmotivated, or discouraged, and don't want to write that story anymore.

That's how I'm starting to get with my oneshots, I just can't really come up with oneshot ideas like I used to be able to.

Like, with my other book, I still have ideas for chapters, and I don't plan on not writing more for that, bc I enjoy writing chapters for that story, but, I'm just scared to try and start writing another story when I have a feeling I'll become unmotivated, and give up on it.

Maybe short stories are where my strong suit is.

Even though I probably wouldn't be good at writing a short story either.

okay, I feel bad, this whole thing is just me complaining about writing while writing.

This is different for me tho ig, probably bc It's like my own little diary thingy.

Whatever man, I'll figure something out.

Fr now, I'll stick to writing If Hearts could heal, and stick to reading stories.

I think it's better that way.

Well, it would be better that way for now until I find my writing style, my confidence, and my inspiration.

That's all from me for tonight (I think), thank you for reading my rant.

I love you, my MANIACS.

You all make me so happy tbh.

anyway.

Farewell, my friends.

~Jaylen {Author}