AbhiRa(short story)- secrets revealed

ch-11

" is there any problem??" She asked

   He looked at her being shocked as he had not expected this at all..as she never initiated to talk to him then why today??

  " No.. nothing I was just little worried that Abhir might be waiting for me as I had promised him..but as he had slept so I will meet him tomorrow..good night" Abhi said to her and ignited his bike to go from there..as last thing he wanted at that moment was to have any sort of  conversation with Akshara as he was not in right state of mind and he was afraid he will do one more blunder so it's better
to go from there..

  " Can I ask you something??" She asked him

  He sighed in disappointment as she asked him one more question..he was cursing his luck that Akshara chose this day only to have any conversation..and now he can't even go away ignoring it as it will make him more bad in front of her eyes..so having no option left he turned around and nodded his head..

   " It was this much easy for you to push me away from your life,end everything and never look back?? You didn't even bothered to check I am alive or dead..you used to say that you can't live without me then how easily you lived 6 years without enquiring about me..??did you ever loved me truly? If yes then that love just vanished in one day? I would have died that day but still you would have not bothered about it?? Our love and relationship was that much weak that it could not survive one blow and shattered into pieces which can never be joined again?the woman whom you used to hate to the core and can't even stand..
she has become part of your family so much so that you are going to marry her
You pushed me away in one single day and you are treating her with so much respect since last 6 years..why you didn't showed same understanding towards me? Why this injustice with me?? Did I never mattered to you?" Akshara asked him

   Abhimanyu just kept looking at her without blinking his eyes he was playing her every question in his mind and it was reminding him all those incidents all over again he didn't wanted to do that at this moment but when things happened according to his wishes??so he sighed and  kept his head down for few seconds and then looked up at Akshara..

   " Akshara how I wish you have asked me all of these on some other day not today but nevermind as now you have asked so you will get your answers..
before answering your questions..I too have some questions to ask..

   "What you think Akshara..I am some kind of monster?? Was I used to torture you everyday? Did I ever hurt you intentionally or shout at you without any reason just because I was your husband?
Please answer me.. Akshara you have always saw only me getting angry did you ever tried to find the reason behind that anger?? Whenever I tried to make you understand something did you ever understood my words or why am I saying this??" Abhi asked

   Akshara looked at him but didn't said anything and just looked away..

  "Now coming to your questions..no it's not easy but when your whole life crumbles down in front of your eyes and you fail to protect it then that pain becomes unbearable and it takes away all the rationality of good or bad..same thing happened that day..in just one day my whole world turned upside down and I stood there helplessly..you can't even imagine my condition akshara when I did last rituals of Neel..I had brought him in that home on my own responsibility.He had always looked upto me that I will always be there for him and protect him..but I failed..when I saw his body burning in fire..something died inside me too and that pain combined with loss of our twins had made me insane..I thought I will loose my mind and in that moment when Ma said that your one wrong decision took away three lives..it triggered me very badly..I was trying to make you understand where you went wrong..but you were not ready to listen or understand and then I lost all control and did something which I can't even imagine doing in worst nightmare..
            I was not a mad person to ruin everything from my own hands but it happened..I am not justifying what I did
but sometimes things go beyond your control and you just stood there helplessly..
    but when I got to know that you were missing I went to your house to know about you then bade papa got your voice message and after that when he came back after meeting you..he told me that you want to live alone for sometime and you are living with your friend..it relived me little bit that you are fine and living with your own choice wherever you are.. then that phone call happened..
After that I called you again when I saw your missed calls..but that abhinav received and I kept asking him about you and he uttered all the bullshit but didn't gave me one straight answer..it irritated the hell out of me as I was in hospital at that time..Ma's health was critical..I was so scared as one day before only I had lost so many people.I didn't have courage
to go through one more loss and in that situation a random stranger told me that he wanted to talk to about my babies..
those babies whom I had lost one day before..It made me so angry..and I said
what you heard I guess and on just basis of that single sentence you decided that I don't deserve to know about my child..
and you know why I never searched you again because after 7 months I heard  that you got married to someone else..
It was end for me..nothing left..you asked me that how that love vanished in one single day event..I was asking the same question to myself that how can you got married to someone just like that..and you want to know how I survived last six years without you..well the answer is medicines and ruhi..